So today, I took my lunch break. (From work. Because I have a job now!) And I ran some errands. One of the errands I had to run was to go to a bank (Which is not the bank that I work at. I plan on transferring things, just not yet.) I was sitting in line at the drive-up when I saw it.....The Mystery Machine.
If you live in Lincoln, NE you have probably seen it. Somebody got a van and painted it to look exactly like the Mystery Machine from the old Scooby Doo cartoon. The same bright aqua and purple paint. The logo exactly the same as the cartoon. And if you weren't thinking too hard about the fact that cartoons don't really exist in the real world, you could imagine Fred behind the wheel and Scooby and Shaggy eating scooby snacks in the back.
This Mystery Machine is famous in Northeast Lincoln. My kids have seen it and wondered. Other kids have seen it and rumored. Who is it that drives the Mystery Machine all over the neighborhood? Is it a mega-fan of the show? Is it an anime-loving cartoon-aholic? Is it some cheeky advertising executive that thinks its artsy/retro-cool? Is it some teenage burnout that giggles at the thought of opening the van doors only to find clouds of smoke and the essence of "scooby snacks?" Is it Shaggy?
I finally saw the driver of the Mystery Machine today. He is a 50-something dude with a big bushy beard and khakis. He looked a lot more like a professor than a burnout. Glasses and a beige jacket, he looked like he was going to lead a class on anthropology. Not find out who was behind the zombie dilemma at the new cemetery country club.
He was walking out to his van at the same time another guy was walking out of the bank. This other guy looked like a thug. Now that I'm working at a bank, I'm constantly on the lookout for thugs. He had a ball cap on, pants slung low, underwear all up in there....or all up out of there...or wherever it is that thugs put their undergarments these days. He looked a little thug-ish. And he was texting.
Wanna-be Scooby got in his van. Thug-kid was texting on his phone and walking out into the parking lot. Wanna-be Scooby started up the car. Thug-kid was texting and not paying attention and walked right into the path of the reversing Mystery Machine. He didn't even see it. The Mystery Machine for crying out loud.
The van came inches from running the thug over. Inches. The Mystery Machine went forward, obviously not even seeing the thug, still in the van's blind spot. The thug gave the Mystery Machine the finger. Nice.
At this point, I knew I had to decide who to root for. If a cop came, the decision would be in favor of the pedestrian (Thug). Drivers should be cautious and look for any obstacles/pedestrians/baggy pants-wearing wanna-be gangstas in their way. But this idiot was so oblivious to the world around him. He was so engrossed in his text conversation. He was walking right in the middle of the parking lot. And almost got hit. BY THE FREAKING MYSTERY MACHINE! How do you not notice that and get the heck out of the way? Fred, Daphne, Velma, Scooby and Shaggy are coming straight at you. How do you not move over?
Turns out meddling kids these days wear their pants too low or their underwear too high. And they are so engrossed in not talking to each other that they would sacrifice their lives in order to text "clues" to one another.
Ruh-roh Raggy. There's a monster on the loose and his name is Thug on the Phone. Or Thug n' Thumbs. Or The Saggy Pants Text-a-holic. Or Phone Thugs N' Harmony. Something like that.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Piece of Cake
"Zach has loo-kee-mata," Grant said when he came home from school one day.
Thinking I misheard him I asked, "You mean mononucleosis?" Not that most 8-year olds get the kissing disease, but I didn't want to think about the alternative.
"No, it's a kind of cancer," Grant said. One of his classmates, a little boy that he had known since pre-school had leukemia.
I've been fortunate in my radio career to be able to go down to St. Jude's Research Center in Memphis, Tenn. The amazing work down there has drastically changed the survival rates of childhood blood cancers. Now, with the right treatment and prayers, kids who are diagnosed with leukemia have a 94% survival rate. Of course, the treatment sucks. Kids miss a lot of school. And it is expensive.
So Grant's Cub Scout pack decided to do a Cake Auction fundraiser. I love to bake so I was all up for it. It was not a competition. It was a fundraiser. However, the idea of my cake bringing in a huge bid was exciting so I knew I needed to get creative. I also knew my target was 8-9 year old boys and their parents. So I hit the internet and stole the idea to do 2 little cakes that looked like wii remotes.
Of course the morning I was doing these I was completely rushed and had to drag all three kids with me from store to store, so I had to use some shortcuts. I used already made frozen pound cake, rolled out premade fondant and bought some of those edible markers you can get at Michaels. Easy as pie, except that it was cake.
We headed over to the auction with our creations and picked up an extra 5 or 6 neighborhood kids on our way there. Not on purpose. But when you see a lady walking down the street with 2 cakes in her hand, you follow. I'm the new Pied Piper of my neighborhood. I brought $10 because I knew my kids would want to buy a cake of their own.
I put my cake down on the auction table and was amazed at what I saw. There were probably about 30 cakes there. All different kinds and shapes and flavors. Some absolutely gorgeous. Some plain. Cupcakes, pirate cakes, Cub Scout cakes, tiered cakes, treasure cakes, a Stormtrooper cake (!)... Amazing.
I asked which cake the kids wanted to take home and Grant told me he had his eye on the Army cake. Grant is very into all things military and this cake was incredible. It had little plastic Army guys all over it. A tank next to it. The frosting was a mix of green and brown food coloring and looked a little like camouflage. There were crumbled up bits of graham cracker to look like "dirt." This was a cool cake. And it was towards the end of the auction.
The auction began and I started to get nervous. The bidding started at $5 and almost all of the cakes went for at least $15. Most went for $30 or more. When the (plain) homemade German chocolate cake went for $51, I got really nervous. I only brought $10. How was I going to get Grant his Army cake?
And then I remembered my Aunt Terri. Just a few days earlier I had gotten a note in the mail. I had seen my Aunt Terri at my cousin T's wedding a month ago when I was still unemployed and going through my rough patch. She sent me a little note telling me how much she enjoyed seeing my kids and how I was in her prayers. Inside the note, she stuck a check for $50.
I received this note a week after I started my new job at the bank. I didn't know what to do with the money. I know she wanted to help me out of a rough spot, but I was now getting out of the rough spot and I felt like I didn't deserve it anymore. Thank goodness, my run of bad luck was over. My mom said that Aunt Terri wanted me to have it even still. "To spend it on something fun with the kids."
The Army cake was coming up for bid. With Aunt Terri's help, I knew I could put in a bid. And then some. The bids went up and up and up. I kept raising my hand. "$25...who's got $26?" I do! I do!
The frenzy of an auction can be intoxicating. You don't ever really feel like you're buying something, you feel more like you're winning something. And I felt like I could really win this cake.
"$45 now, who's got $46?" the auctioneer called out.
"I've got $50!!!!" I yelled, so excited to try and make my little folks happy.
"51!" Someone yelled from the back of the room. "$55!" "I've got 60!" The bids kept going up and up. Higher and higher.
"Mom! Bid higher!" Grant pleaded. But I couldn't. Even with my generous gift, I don't have that much money. I've got a job now, but I also have a year's worth of unemployment debt to recover from.
The cake finally went for $78. Grant started to cry. We had lost the cake he had his hopes on.
"That's okay Grant," I told him. "Remember, the money is going to Zach." (And it turns out that particular cake was going to Zach too. The winning bidder wanted Zach to have that cake.)
There were only two more cakes up for auction. One of them being perhaps the biggest sheet cake I have ever seen in my life. It had the Cub Scouts Bears logo on it and it took almost two people to hold it up. The neighborhood kids who were sitting with me were anxious. To come to a cake auction and come away with no cake just didn't seem fair. And then the bidding began....
"$25...$30....$32....$35....$38?"
"$40!" I yelled and raised my hand!
"Sold! To the woman in the front row with the 20 kids!" My little crew got so excited. They couldn't wait to get a closer look at that cake. I needed a couple of them to help me carry the thing home, it was so huge.
We got back and everyone had a slice. And then some. I took a third of the cake over to the neighbors and sent each group of kids home with another huge chunk. We have had cake for breakfast for the past 3 days. And there is still some left in the refrigerator.
It made me feel fantastic to be able to buy that cake. I was able to get something fun for my kids. I was able to get something fun for all of the kids in the neighborhood. I was able to feed my neighbors. And I was able to help out a kid who was going through his rough patch. A patch rougher than I have ever had to face.
Now, if you can do the math, you must realize that I only spent $40 on that cake. And Aunt Terri gave me $50. What am I going to do with the other $10?
I am going to the store to get some little Army guys, a tank and some graham crackers and I am going to bake the most fantastic Army cake ever!!!!!
Thinking I misheard him I asked, "You mean mononucleosis?" Not that most 8-year olds get the kissing disease, but I didn't want to think about the alternative.
"No, it's a kind of cancer," Grant said. One of his classmates, a little boy that he had known since pre-school had leukemia.
I've been fortunate in my radio career to be able to go down to St. Jude's Research Center in Memphis, Tenn. The amazing work down there has drastically changed the survival rates of childhood blood cancers. Now, with the right treatment and prayers, kids who are diagnosed with leukemia have a 94% survival rate. Of course, the treatment sucks. Kids miss a lot of school. And it is expensive.
So Grant's Cub Scout pack decided to do a Cake Auction fundraiser. I love to bake so I was all up for it. It was not a competition. It was a fundraiser. However, the idea of my cake bringing in a huge bid was exciting so I knew I needed to get creative. I also knew my target was 8-9 year old boys and their parents. So I hit the internet and stole the idea to do 2 little cakes that looked like wii remotes.
Of course the morning I was doing these I was completely rushed and had to drag all three kids with me from store to store, so I had to use some shortcuts. I used already made frozen pound cake, rolled out premade fondant and bought some of those edible markers you can get at Michaels. Easy as pie, except that it was cake.
We headed over to the auction with our creations and picked up an extra 5 or 6 neighborhood kids on our way there. Not on purpose. But when you see a lady walking down the street with 2 cakes in her hand, you follow. I'm the new Pied Piper of my neighborhood. I brought $10 because I knew my kids would want to buy a cake of their own.
I put my cake down on the auction table and was amazed at what I saw. There were probably about 30 cakes there. All different kinds and shapes and flavors. Some absolutely gorgeous. Some plain. Cupcakes, pirate cakes, Cub Scout cakes, tiered cakes, treasure cakes, a Stormtrooper cake (!)... Amazing.
I asked which cake the kids wanted to take home and Grant told me he had his eye on the Army cake. Grant is very into all things military and this cake was incredible. It had little plastic Army guys all over it. A tank next to it. The frosting was a mix of green and brown food coloring and looked a little like camouflage. There were crumbled up bits of graham cracker to look like "dirt." This was a cool cake. And it was towards the end of the auction.
The auction began and I started to get nervous. The bidding started at $5 and almost all of the cakes went for at least $15. Most went for $30 or more. When the (plain) homemade German chocolate cake went for $51, I got really nervous. I only brought $10. How was I going to get Grant his Army cake?
And then I remembered my Aunt Terri. Just a few days earlier I had gotten a note in the mail. I had seen my Aunt Terri at my cousin T's wedding a month ago when I was still unemployed and going through my rough patch. She sent me a little note telling me how much she enjoyed seeing my kids and how I was in her prayers. Inside the note, she stuck a check for $50.
I received this note a week after I started my new job at the bank. I didn't know what to do with the money. I know she wanted to help me out of a rough spot, but I was now getting out of the rough spot and I felt like I didn't deserve it anymore. Thank goodness, my run of bad luck was over. My mom said that Aunt Terri wanted me to have it even still. "To spend it on something fun with the kids."
The Army cake was coming up for bid. With Aunt Terri's help, I knew I could put in a bid. And then some. The bids went up and up and up. I kept raising my hand. "$25...who's got $26?" I do! I do!
The frenzy of an auction can be intoxicating. You don't ever really feel like you're buying something, you feel more like you're winning something. And I felt like I could really win this cake.
"$45 now, who's got $46?" the auctioneer called out.
"I've got $50!!!!" I yelled, so excited to try and make my little folks happy.
"51!" Someone yelled from the back of the room. "$55!" "I've got 60!" The bids kept going up and up. Higher and higher.
"Mom! Bid higher!" Grant pleaded. But I couldn't. Even with my generous gift, I don't have that much money. I've got a job now, but I also have a year's worth of unemployment debt to recover from.
The cake finally went for $78. Grant started to cry. We had lost the cake he had his hopes on.
"That's okay Grant," I told him. "Remember, the money is going to Zach." (And it turns out that particular cake was going to Zach too. The winning bidder wanted Zach to have that cake.)
There were only two more cakes up for auction. One of them being perhaps the biggest sheet cake I have ever seen in my life. It had the Cub Scouts Bears logo on it and it took almost two people to hold it up. The neighborhood kids who were sitting with me were anxious. To come to a cake auction and come away with no cake just didn't seem fair. And then the bidding began....
"$25...$30....$32....$35....$38?"
"$40!" I yelled and raised my hand!
"Sold! To the woman in the front row with the 20 kids!" My little crew got so excited. They couldn't wait to get a closer look at that cake. I needed a couple of them to help me carry the thing home, it was so huge.
We got back and everyone had a slice. And then some. I took a third of the cake over to the neighbors and sent each group of kids home with another huge chunk. We have had cake for breakfast for the past 3 days. And there is still some left in the refrigerator.
It made me feel fantastic to be able to buy that cake. I was able to get something fun for my kids. I was able to get something fun for all of the kids in the neighborhood. I was able to feed my neighbors. And I was able to help out a kid who was going through his rough patch. A patch rougher than I have ever had to face.
Now, if you can do the math, you must realize that I only spent $40 on that cake. And Aunt Terri gave me $50. What am I going to do with the other $10?
I am going to the store to get some little Army guys, a tank and some graham crackers and I am going to bake the most fantastic Army cake ever!!!!!
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