OMG!!!!! I thought to myself. Loudly. Is that who I think it is? Is that....?
I had to stop at Target on my way home from a Mary Kay benefit. I needed toilet paper and bread. (And Target just so happens to have these little single servings of wine that look like juice boxes, but aren't.) I didn't get a cart because I was only getting two things. But I had to pick up some chips and salsa to go with the wine, so now I am fully laden with Target goodness when I saw him walk right by and turn into the aisle behind me.
Zac Lee, third string quarterback for the Nebraska Cornhuskers!!!!!!!! He was first string last year and this year played in quite a few games actually as the other two guys kept getting hurt. And that's one of the things that I love about him. He basically was demoted from a superstar position and rather than be pouty and quit, he sucked it up and for the love of the game and the pride of Nebraska he played anyway. He gave advice to the younger guys that got promoted ahead of him. He's one stand-up guy.
Plus, he's totally hot! I would include a picture of him right here, but I am not legally allowed to do so. So you have to imagine a young Adonis with short brown hair, dreamy eyes, broad shoulders, a twinkling smile, and a schnazzy blue hoodie.
He was there looking in the food section of Target with some guy and I wish I would have paid attention to what they were looking at. That would have made a good addition to this story. "OMG, I saw Zac Lee at Target and he was buying....cheezits or pickles or peanut butter." But I was so flustered it was all I could do to not drop my salsa.
I stood in the next aisle over wondering what to do. What was amazing to me is that I think I was the only one who seems to have recognized him. Should I go up to him and casually give him a wink? "Like you know that I know who you are but I am not going to be obnoxious and spoil your shopping experience because I'm cool like that."
Or should I think of my children and go and ask for his autograph? I considered this but also remembered that my arms were full of toilet paper, bread, wine and chips and salsa. So, rummaging around in my overstuffed purse for something for him to write on and the odds of finding something for him to write with (that wasn't made by Crayola) were slim.
I also considered the honest approach. But then how often does he get women blabbering, gushing all over him saying that they are his biggest fans. He should be able to come to Target with a buddy to by....granola bars without getting accosted by middle-aged stalkers.
Of course by the time I collected my wits and calmed myself down (a little), he was already in the check out lane. I stood in line with my secret wondering if anyone else was going crazy inside.
He left and I couldn't hold it in any longer. "Did you see who that just was?" I exploded. "Zac Lee! And he was here! And in person! And he's a Husker! And I can't believe he was here at Target! And oh my gosh he's so cute!!!!!!!"
The male checker just looked at me. Blankly. "Well you know, he's got a girlfriend."
I took a minute. Thought about it.
So you mean, if it weren't for the girlfriend, I might have a shot with Zac Lee?
Whoo Hoo! Not that there's a 15+-year age difference or that I'm a newly separated, mini-van driving mother of three with graying temples and hopefully eventually smaller saddlebags? Not that he's a collegiate superstar athlete who could rival any movie star with his handsomeness? There's only one thing keeping me from falling into the arms of this hot, young, talented golden boy. It's the girlfriend.
Darn. Oh well. Look me up when you're free, Zac. I'll be at Target, buying some of your favorite....snack crackers?
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Friday, January 14, 2011
Snuggling with the Jonas Brothers
So if I would have gotten the news 3 weeks ago, I would have been sick. Might have pushed me over the edge. I woke up two mornings ago and it felt cold, I went downstairs to check and it was only 57 degrees. Called the heating guy and sure enough, our 20-year old furnace bit the dust. (Which makes me feel good that I am not a furnace, but really....1992 did not feel that long ago. How ancient must I be if I can outlive a major appliance.) The damage? $1700. The good news? I have a job!!!!!!!!!
I finally got hired. After 13 months and lots of applications and no phone calls and strange personality tests later, I have been hired by a regional bank to do their social media marketing: Facebook, youtube, twitter, blogging....right up my alley!!!! (I told you! You just have to get out of the house every once in a while.)
So, even though this huge expense is debilitating, it's debilitation that can be paid off....eventually. I'll have a paycheck coming eventually. I start on Tuesday. In the meantime, the house was FREEZING. The furnace guys were coming in the morning, but that night we had to go all Pioneer-style.
I borrowed some space heaters from my fabulous friend Christy. (Check out her blog: raisingjustice.blogspot.com) And went to the HyVee to buy some firewood. One of the reasons we bought this house was for the fireplace and last night, its value was recognized 10-fold. At this point the temperature in the house was only 52-eventually it got down to 44. It was the coldest day of the year so far in Lincoln, NE. Something like 5 below with 11 below windchills. (And yes, for my friends in Fargo, that is nothing. You have it much worse. Remember, I lived up there for 6 years. That is why I do not live there now.)
I decided that the kids and I would all sleep in the tv room with the fireplace. The rest of the house was already very cold. I grabbed as many blankets and pillows as I could and made a nice little mommy nest in front of the fireplace. I also thought ahead (so proud of myself for this one), and grabbed clothes for the kids for the next day, because I know how tough it is to put your warm body into semi-frozen undergarments. (Again, Fargo. 6 years.)
I got that fire going. Read book after book. Did a lot of snuggling. And I am well aware that I start my new job on Tuesday. My days of being able to take the kids to school and pick them up are over. The trek home after a long day of math and reading and writer's workshop are over. My days of helping Mia's kindergarten class learn how to hold marshmallows in their mouths, over. (Brilliant idea of how to keep little ones quiet: Tell them to hold pretend marshmallows in their mouths.) Bundling the kids up, looking for shoes, packing backpacks and watching them walk in those school doors to be "educated." Those days are over. I'm not a reluctant stay-at-home mom any more.
But now, I can pay for a furnace. I do have to admit that I was a little worried about our safety. The temperature was dropping in the rest of the house and even in our little room, outside of our nest, it was pretty chilly. I had my fake down comforter for the boys. And Mia and I had on 3 layers of blankets, including a blanket featuring the Disney pop sensation the Jonas Brothers-a "hand me down" from one of my sister's friends. (Oddly enough, in our current cable-free, economic status, my daughter doesn't know exactly who the Jonas Brothers are. But they look cute enough.) And I don't know what kind of fleece hybrid this blanket is made out of, but it is an amazingly warm little throw. And perfectly sized for a 39 year old woman and her 5-year old.
After what seemed like the 30th chapter out of a Harry Potter book, the kids finally fell asleep. I kept an eye on the fire hoping that we didn't either catch on fire or freeze in the middle of the night. As I looked in the fire, I got all spiritual and philosophical. (As most do while gazing into a roaring fire at 3 in the morning.) I was reminded about how crazy it is that fortune and tragedy are intermingled. I get a job. I have to pay for a furnace. The house is freezing, but we have a fireplace. We could become little people popsicles in the middle of the night, but we would have adorable Jonas Brothers wrappers.
As I finally drifted off to sleep myself, I was grateful. Grateful for the blessings that I have been given. Grateful for my children. Grateful for wonderful, supportive friends. Grateful for the opportunity to now show a business what I can accomplish. Grateful to be alive in 2011, where we actually have solid walls and cars and furnaces (when they work) and indoor plumbing (as cold as our toilet seats got....I could only imagine having to walk 10 feet to an outhouse.)
And last, but not least, of course, I am grateful for snuggling with those Jonas Brothers.
I finally got hired. After 13 months and lots of applications and no phone calls and strange personality tests later, I have been hired by a regional bank to do their social media marketing: Facebook, youtube, twitter, blogging....right up my alley!!!! (I told you! You just have to get out of the house every once in a while.)
So, even though this huge expense is debilitating, it's debilitation that can be paid off....eventually. I'll have a paycheck coming eventually. I start on Tuesday. In the meantime, the house was FREEZING. The furnace guys were coming in the morning, but that night we had to go all Pioneer-style.
I borrowed some space heaters from my fabulous friend Christy. (Check out her blog: raisingjustice.blogspot.com) And went to the HyVee to buy some firewood. One of the reasons we bought this house was for the fireplace and last night, its value was recognized 10-fold. At this point the temperature in the house was only 52-eventually it got down to 44. It was the coldest day of the year so far in Lincoln, NE. Something like 5 below with 11 below windchills. (And yes, for my friends in Fargo, that is nothing. You have it much worse. Remember, I lived up there for 6 years. That is why I do not live there now.)
I decided that the kids and I would all sleep in the tv room with the fireplace. The rest of the house was already very cold. I grabbed as many blankets and pillows as I could and made a nice little mommy nest in front of the fireplace. I also thought ahead (so proud of myself for this one), and grabbed clothes for the kids for the next day, because I know how tough it is to put your warm body into semi-frozen undergarments. (Again, Fargo. 6 years.)
I got that fire going. Read book after book. Did a lot of snuggling. And I am well aware that I start my new job on Tuesday. My days of being able to take the kids to school and pick them up are over. The trek home after a long day of math and reading and writer's workshop are over. My days of helping Mia's kindergarten class learn how to hold marshmallows in their mouths, over. (Brilliant idea of how to keep little ones quiet: Tell them to hold pretend marshmallows in their mouths.) Bundling the kids up, looking for shoes, packing backpacks and watching them walk in those school doors to be "educated." Those days are over. I'm not a reluctant stay-at-home mom any more.
But now, I can pay for a furnace. I do have to admit that I was a little worried about our safety. The temperature was dropping in the rest of the house and even in our little room, outside of our nest, it was pretty chilly. I had my fake down comforter for the boys. And Mia and I had on 3 layers of blankets, including a blanket featuring the Disney pop sensation the Jonas Brothers-a "hand me down" from one of my sister's friends. (Oddly enough, in our current cable-free, economic status, my daughter doesn't know exactly who the Jonas Brothers are. But they look cute enough.) And I don't know what kind of fleece hybrid this blanket is made out of, but it is an amazingly warm little throw. And perfectly sized for a 39 year old woman and her 5-year old.
After what seemed like the 30th chapter out of a Harry Potter book, the kids finally fell asleep. I kept an eye on the fire hoping that we didn't either catch on fire or freeze in the middle of the night. As I looked in the fire, I got all spiritual and philosophical. (As most do while gazing into a roaring fire at 3 in the morning.) I was reminded about how crazy it is that fortune and tragedy are intermingled. I get a job. I have to pay for a furnace. The house is freezing, but we have a fireplace. We could become little people popsicles in the middle of the night, but we would have adorable Jonas Brothers wrappers.
As I finally drifted off to sleep myself, I was grateful. Grateful for the blessings that I have been given. Grateful for my children. Grateful for wonderful, supportive friends. Grateful for the opportunity to now show a business what I can accomplish. Grateful to be alive in 2011, where we actually have solid walls and cars and furnaces (when they work) and indoor plumbing (as cold as our toilet seats got....I could only imagine having to walk 10 feet to an outhouse.)
And last, but not least, of course, I am grateful for snuggling with those Jonas Brothers.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Unemploment Envy and Naps
One of the features I wanted to include in this blog (besides the therapeutic release of being able to share the stories of this crazy Tilt-a-Whirl of a life I have) was to use it as a public service guide for the Unemployed. I'm sure that no government agency will officially sanction it. And that's okay. It's really just a few things that I have learned in my 13 months of being unemployed that I wanted to share with my friends/family that are also newly left "without a paddle."
So here are some more tips learned from the Unemployment Line:
1) There is no unemployment line. In fact, most times, there is no one to talk to. My fellow "Non-jobbers" joke that the ideal solution is to give unemployed people jobs at the unemployment office, because the office is woefully understaffed.
I think the original idea was to try to make filing for unemployment insurance strictly an on-line endeavor. Which is great, but there are so many questions, the website isn't always clear, and for most of us, this is the first time we have been unemployed and have absolutely no clue how any of this is supposed to work. Talking to a person and having them answer our questions is soothing. Especially for people who are on the cusp of spiraling depression and doom. There is a phone number to call and talk to someone, but I was on hold for 45 minutes the other day waiting to file for my Emergency Unemployment Insurance, (it's been over a year-no job) before I was able to talk to someone. (Also, never call on a Monday. You will NEVER get through.) Which leads me to my next tip....
2) Be nice to the Unemployment Person. He/she can help you a lot. Sure, you have no job, and you are a little bitter about the fact that you've been on hold for 45 minutes or longer and are frustrated and on the brink of financial ruin, and some schmo who does have a job finally picks up the phone to answer your question. The first instinct is to be nasty. But imagine what job this schmo has: nine hours of being yelled at by jerks like you. That's what his/her job is. Maybe a lunch break in there. But nine hours of being yelled at by crazy, slightly unhinged, panic-ridden jobless folks who are disparately clinging to a few hundred bucks a week so they can afford ramen noodles and cheap wine. And I'm guessing these customer service positions don't exactly pay well themselves. So be nice to them. They can submit your paperwork. And get you a check. (Plus, I think the world would be a better place if everyone was a little nicer to each other.)
3) Take a nap. Because you can. You will walk around during the afternoon, envious of all that are working. I drove by a construction site the other day, so jealous of the dirty guy in the hole cleaning out some gunk that needed to be cleaned out in freezing weather. He had a job. He knew he would get a paycheck at the end of the week and he knew that he could pay his bills and feed his family. (I could clean gunk!) But I don't have a gunk-cleaning job right now. They haven't called me back from my application. I've gotten one job-related call this week. Other than that my phone has been quiet. After a certain period of time, there is nothing I can do. I now have to sit and wait. And take a nap. I'm envious of the gunk guy. He's jealous of me for the ability to take a nap in the middle of the day. It's one of the perks of having nothing to do.
You can drive yourself crazy with the "I shoulds." I should be cleaning the house. I should be organizing the garage. I should be cleaning out the closets. I should be alphabetizing the Hot Wheels collection. I should be micromanaging and sorting the Legos. But you will become crazy. You have enough pressure on you to deal with your job loss and on-going depression that it is perfectly okay for you to take a nap once in a while. Go for a walk. Read a silly magazine. Spend too much time on Facebook. All without judgment from the Have A Job folks. If you are honestly applying and looking for work, it is okay to take a break here and there. Just make sure that your hour-long nap doesn't take up your whole afternoon. Or your half-hour Bejeweled session doesn't last all weekend.
Just a few more tips from the Land of Joblessness. I'll have some more as I think about them. I do have a busy day today. Lunch with the first-grader. Maybe a little vacuuming in the afternoon. Right now, I'm off to take a little siesta.
So here are some more tips learned from the Unemployment Line:
1) There is no unemployment line. In fact, most times, there is no one to talk to. My fellow "Non-jobbers" joke that the ideal solution is to give unemployed people jobs at the unemployment office, because the office is woefully understaffed.
I think the original idea was to try to make filing for unemployment insurance strictly an on-line endeavor. Which is great, but there are so many questions, the website isn't always clear, and for most of us, this is the first time we have been unemployed and have absolutely no clue how any of this is supposed to work. Talking to a person and having them answer our questions is soothing. Especially for people who are on the cusp of spiraling depression and doom. There is a phone number to call and talk to someone, but I was on hold for 45 minutes the other day waiting to file for my Emergency Unemployment Insurance, (it's been over a year-no job) before I was able to talk to someone. (Also, never call on a Monday. You will NEVER get through.) Which leads me to my next tip....
2) Be nice to the Unemployment Person. He/she can help you a lot. Sure, you have no job, and you are a little bitter about the fact that you've been on hold for 45 minutes or longer and are frustrated and on the brink of financial ruin, and some schmo who does have a job finally picks up the phone to answer your question. The first instinct is to be nasty. But imagine what job this schmo has: nine hours of being yelled at by jerks like you. That's what his/her job is. Maybe a lunch break in there. But nine hours of being yelled at by crazy, slightly unhinged, panic-ridden jobless folks who are disparately clinging to a few hundred bucks a week so they can afford ramen noodles and cheap wine. And I'm guessing these customer service positions don't exactly pay well themselves. So be nice to them. They can submit your paperwork. And get you a check. (Plus, I think the world would be a better place if everyone was a little nicer to each other.)
3) Take a nap. Because you can. You will walk around during the afternoon, envious of all that are working. I drove by a construction site the other day, so jealous of the dirty guy in the hole cleaning out some gunk that needed to be cleaned out in freezing weather. He had a job. He knew he would get a paycheck at the end of the week and he knew that he could pay his bills and feed his family. (I could clean gunk!) But I don't have a gunk-cleaning job right now. They haven't called me back from my application. I've gotten one job-related call this week. Other than that my phone has been quiet. After a certain period of time, there is nothing I can do. I now have to sit and wait. And take a nap. I'm envious of the gunk guy. He's jealous of me for the ability to take a nap in the middle of the day. It's one of the perks of having nothing to do.
You can drive yourself crazy with the "I shoulds." I should be cleaning the house. I should be organizing the garage. I should be cleaning out the closets. I should be alphabetizing the Hot Wheels collection. I should be micromanaging and sorting the Legos. But you will become crazy. You have enough pressure on you to deal with your job loss and on-going depression that it is perfectly okay for you to take a nap once in a while. Go for a walk. Read a silly magazine. Spend too much time on Facebook. All without judgment from the Have A Job folks. If you are honestly applying and looking for work, it is okay to take a break here and there. Just make sure that your hour-long nap doesn't take up your whole afternoon. Or your half-hour Bejeweled session doesn't last all weekend.
Just a few more tips from the Land of Joblessness. I'll have some more as I think about them. I do have a busy day today. Lunch with the first-grader. Maybe a little vacuuming in the afternoon. Right now, I'm off to take a little siesta.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Names
I went home for the New Year's weekend to celebrate with family and friends and to attend the wedding of my cousin Tee Reynolds (who is the most beautiful young woman in the entire world). I love going to weddings, even in my broken-marriage state. Life is so beautiful so new. Love is young and full of potential, before selfishness and mental illness can spoil it. (Whoops. This is supposed to be a positive blog.) And the great thing now is that I can actually go to out-of-Nebraska weddings. When I was in radio, I couldn't leave during our ratings periods which tended to be in the Spring and Fall, also a very popular time for weddings. Tee has 7 other brothers and sisters so there have been 6 Reynolds weddings in the past 12 or so years and I have missed most of them.
I ran into my cousin's cousin Steve.(I'm not sure if I am related to him or not. If I am once, twice or thrice-removed/) The joke was that at the last Reynolds cousin's wedding, Steve introduced his wife by the wrong name. I think they had been married for a year and he introduced her to my sister as "Amy." Her name is Kim. Whoops! My sister tried to make a joke about how the people in our family always call people by the wrong names, but the year-old bride was not happy.
At another Reynolds wedding, my mother was seated at a table with her brother and his new girlfriend. My mother has a fabulous personality, a warm spirit and can remember lots of things....except the names of things. So you can imagine how great it went over when my mom kept referring to her brother's new girlfriend, "Kathy" as "Sally" his ex-wife's name.
I have had lots of names over my life. I have been Sue Bayou, Deanna Santana, Deanna D, Cyndi Layne and maybe one or two others that I can't think of. My step-mom asked me at the dinner table the night before New Year's whether or not I was going to keep my married name. Absolutely! I've never felt that my name made me who I was. What I did, what I said, how I made people feel, that is what made me who I was. Never my name. A name is just something that you use to call someone. And sometimes people don't even get that right.
My mother-in-law (ex-mother-in-law?) has a terrific method of getting your attention. She came from a family of like 32 kids, had 5 of her own, and somehow always had the neighborhood hanging out at her house. She calls everyone "Charlie." She only needs to remember one name, and, believe it or not, you know exactly when she's referring to you.
And then discussion turned to whether or not I should change the name of this blog. Chris has suggested that I change it for a while, considering I don't talk too much about football. My sister Krissy says that it makes me sound like I should have a son on the Nebraska team. The name came from the idea that I am a mom from Nebraska and I write little stories. But again, the name isn't too important to me, so I'm up for suggestions. "Off the Air?" "The Mic-less Wonder?" "When's She Gonna Snap?" Send me an e-mail or note with any ideas that you have and I will consider them.
Or I suppose I could always call it "A Day with Charlie."
I ran into my cousin's cousin Steve.(I'm not sure if I am related to him or not. If I am once, twice or thrice-removed/) The joke was that at the last Reynolds cousin's wedding, Steve introduced his wife by the wrong name. I think they had been married for a year and he introduced her to my sister as "Amy." Her name is Kim. Whoops! My sister tried to make a joke about how the people in our family always call people by the wrong names, but the year-old bride was not happy.
At another Reynolds wedding, my mother was seated at a table with her brother and his new girlfriend. My mother has a fabulous personality, a warm spirit and can remember lots of things....except the names of things. So you can imagine how great it went over when my mom kept referring to her brother's new girlfriend, "Kathy" as "Sally" his ex-wife's name.
I have had lots of names over my life. I have been Sue Bayou, Deanna Santana, Deanna D, Cyndi Layne and maybe one or two others that I can't think of. My step-mom asked me at the dinner table the night before New Year's whether or not I was going to keep my married name. Absolutely! I've never felt that my name made me who I was. What I did, what I said, how I made people feel, that is what made me who I was. Never my name. A name is just something that you use to call someone. And sometimes people don't even get that right.
My mother-in-law (ex-mother-in-law?) has a terrific method of getting your attention. She came from a family of like 32 kids, had 5 of her own, and somehow always had the neighborhood hanging out at her house. She calls everyone "Charlie." She only needs to remember one name, and, believe it or not, you know exactly when she's referring to you.
And then discussion turned to whether or not I should change the name of this blog. Chris has suggested that I change it for a while, considering I don't talk too much about football. My sister Krissy says that it makes me sound like I should have a son on the Nebraska team. The name came from the idea that I am a mom from Nebraska and I write little stories. But again, the name isn't too important to me, so I'm up for suggestions. "Off the Air?" "The Mic-less Wonder?" "When's She Gonna Snap?" Send me an e-mail or note with any ideas that you have and I will consider them.
Or I suppose I could always call it "A Day with Charlie."
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