Friday, January 8, 2010

Hardship and Disguises

One of the biggest things I have realized after being laid off is that I am horrible with money. Not that I was ever under the illusion that I was good with it I just didn't realize where it all went. And I still don't.

As a radio personality, I was paid a certain salary and then I received additional money in the form of endorsements, live commercials/broadcasts, that sort of thing. Now, when I started I promised myself that my family and I would only live on my salary. All the extra money would be just that extra money and we would save for college, invest, etc. So of course, we started relying on it.

Where did the money go? I would love to know myself. You see all the pictures in the paper about people who over-extended themselves and are currently in money trouble, and they are driving fancy cars and have boats parked the back yard and 3-car garages and snotty kids with expensive jeans. I just looked around and I don't have any of that, except maybe the snotty kids part. Where did our money go? Sometimes I think we "saved" ourselves broke. A good deal on this here and a great savings on this there, even on things we kinda needed, just broke the camel's back. And now, I've lost my income. So the money problems we had before are now staring us in the face saying "I told you so".

Time to cut back. On everything. We are combing through everything trying to figure out what our basic needs are. Basic. My cell phone is gone. I am trying to figure out a way to get coupons without buying a newspaper. Generic cereal. Kids only getting water and bread. Okay, that is an exaggeration, but I am not letting them eat box after box of cereal. Which is what they would choose to do if they could. No other food just a constant steam of cereal. And we are still looking for ways to cut back even if they are painful.

The most painful of all the cutbacks though, the one we were most scared of was, Cutting the Cable. (insert scream here). Especially for the kids. While I knew not getting to watch Alton Brown and the Food Network would be tough for me, my kids were addicted to Cartoon Network. They would communicate to each other only using quotes from those stupid shows. True addicts, I could only guess as to what would happen when we took away their fix.

And then I started to wonder what it was that the kids got from these shows. A lot of attitude. Meanness masquerading as comedy. Insults pretending to be jokes. This was the foundation that my children were getting. This was becoming their culture. How they viewed the world to be. And then I started to remember my upbringing. I didn't have cable, I had PBS. I read books. I played with my friends. All cost effective ways of spending your time when you're a kid, until....

The third snow day. Lincoln, Nebraska has gotten slammed with awful weather this year. Lincoln Public Schools called 3 snow days before Christmas, then 2-weeks Christmas vacation-two days back and now we are on the third snow day in a row. I have been at home, trapped with my kids for what seems to be a frozen Eternity. With no cable. Board games have been played. I cannot come up with another stupid stick and felt craft idea to save my life. "Clean Your Room" never goes over well. And with 33 below windchills, it's really too cold to even go outside.

So you can imagine my surprise when yesterday, instead of hearing slapping and screaming and tears in the family room, not one "I'm telling Mom!". I heard quiet playing. The kids had re-discovered their costume box. Grant was dressed as a cloak-wearing ninja. Spencer was a racecar driver and Mia was a bumblebee. Now what game were they all playing? I have no idea. In what world would a ninja, nascar driver and bee co-habitate, but they were having a ball. No Cartoon Network in sight.

It made me think of an inspirational quote I read recently. (When you are unemployed, a lot of people share inspirational quotes with you.) "Hardship is just opportunity in disguise." Hey! I'm up for opportunity! Maybe it's time for me to hit the costume box. I think I've got a Princess Leia wig in there somewhere.

3 comments:

  1. My husband has been furloughed from BNSF Railway for a full year now. Your post reminds me so much of my family. I understand your feelings - I get it. In the last year I've learned so much. I truly believe that saying, "Hardship is just an opportunity in disguise." Our lives have been changed for the better in so many ways already. My family no longer eats out...nothing...not at all unless we have a gift card from someone. And you know what? We eat so much healthier, we sit down at the table for meals together, and above all else we have spent so much quality time with each other. My marriage is stronger than ever, we've actually talked more about money and how to spend it than ever before. We are closer to God. The thing that surprises me the most is this: Even though we have a fair amount of debt, a car payment, a mortgage, a dog and 3 kids, we've made ends meet every single month. Some how it always works out. God never gives you a cross you cannot bear... This too shall pass, and when it does, we'll be so used to the minimalist lifestyle we will hit the ground running on paying off debt and building up our savings account. This experience is so life changing. It will shape who you are for the rest of your life. I love that you are sharing your story. There are so many of us, and sometimes there is some comfort in knowing you are not alone. I am thankful for people like you who reach out in times like this.

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  2. I love your comments icstars. I agree with you so much and I am happy to read about you and your family. I pray for huskermama and think green and you and all the others.

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