The Best Liars Are Four

I awoke this morning to the sound of a plunger and the words "Oh no!" My four-year old girl, Mia used an entire roll of toilet paper for one job. And she didn't even finish the job, she had to take a shower even. She's been having more and more "accidents" since I've been home. And has just been all around naughtier. I always thought kids acted out more to get attention and now, with me being home all the time she's getting more attention than ever, so I don't know what her deal is.

She throws her toys everywhere. Coats the kitchen with maple syrup. Is swearing like a sailor (And don't think the boys don't love it when she uses the a-word. Hysterical! I'm trying to teach her that only desperate comics "go blue."). And when I ask her why she's being so naughty, she says she isn't. It's someone else. "Oh," I say. "There's another 4-year old little girl who pee'd on our couch?" "No Mommy," she answers back. "It's a 4-year old BOY." Already playing the gender card.

So I have decided to blame all my problems on someone else. A....35-year old man named Lenny. (The name Lenny sounds creepy enough.) Where did all my money go? Lenny spent it all at Target. Who got me laid off from work? That flippin' Lenny. Who left a dry erase marker in her sweatshirt and ruined an entire load of laundry? Lenny. Who ate the entire pan of brownies? Okay, that one was me. I am just not a good liar. At least, not as good as Lenny.