New Chapter

I haven't exactly decided how to tackle this one. I am now starting a new chapter in my life and I haven't decided how to handle it or discuss it or write about it, but write about it I must.

One of my nephews doesn't understand why I talk about all of this personal stuff on my blog. "Why does she want everyone to know her business?" I don't know why. It does seem stupid. Private stuff should be private. Why does anyone feel the need to share feelings and private thoughts for potentially the whole world to see? Because if I didn't write about these things, I would go crazy. If I were an artist, I'd paint. If I were a sculptor, I'd sculpt. If I were a song writer, I'd sing and you better believe I've got the makings of an award-winning, heart-wrenching country song. (Might still work on that one). What I am is a story-teller. I tell stories. I have to. Otherwise my head would explode and (as I have already explained in multiple previous blogs) I don't like to clean. So that is a mess that just can't happen.

My next chapter is that of a single mom. Chris and I have decided to split and all I can say about it, is that it sucks. Everything sucks. I could write about details and pain and blame and hurt and confusion, but it can all be summed up in two words. It sucks. One day, maybe I'll write it all out, and they'll make a movie, and Julia Roberts will play me, and I'll make a gazillion dollars, but that is another day. Right now it sucks.

My parents divorced just before my fifth birthday. And I love both of my parents equally. My mother is there for me on the phone everyday, no matter what I might need. My dad suffers from a certain amount of wanderlust, loves to travel and somehow finds a way to make a pitstop in Lincoln on his way to wherever his Jeep and camera take him. He came here last week to be my shoulder and he will never know how much that means to me.

So I have proof that there is life for kids after divorce, and my own kids are handling things pretty well at this point. They all know that both mom and dad love them very much. That we are still a family, just a different kind of family.

So starts the new chapter. I'm not sure what is next. I know I really need to find a full-time job. I know I'll need to find childcare and someone to watch the dogs. I know I'll need to give extra kisses and hugs and snuggles. I know I'll have to figure out bills and finances and taxes and how to mow the lawn. And yes, I'll have to clean. It sucks, but when you're surrounded by people who love you, you can tackle anything.