The Men in Blue and the Boy on the Red Bike

So they say that God only gives you what you can handle. Well, today I got tested.

I do think it is important for kids to start to develop a sense of independence. Play on their own. Make some mistakes. Scrape some knees. All without Mommy looking over their shoulder. Yesterday, I let my nine-year old ride with his friend to his friend's house after school with the promise that he would come right back. He followed directions and I was so proud. I was hoping that this could be a changing point. A sign of maturity. He did just get a new pair of glasses. Maybe the new spectacles gave him a new vision (pun intended) on how a mature, responsible 3rd grader should behave.

He asked to do the same thing today. He had homework, but since he was so responsible the day before, I told him to come right back and could get started on his homework later. He took off with his buddy at 3:45. I figured that they probably took the long way. They had been joking about going past not one, but two girls' houses on their special route. It was 4:25 and I started to get nervous. He was supposed to come right home and work on that homework. I went over to the friend's house where his dad told me that they hadn't seen Grant since 4:05 when they sent him home.

So now you know what starts racing through my mind. Of course there's the panic. The what-if. But I wouldn't let my mind go there. I just figured he must have stopped at a friends house on the way home. I took the route back looking for his tell-tale red bike in the front yard of his 3 possible stops. I went to each house and rang the doorbells. No one was home at any of the three houses. No parents, no kids, no one. I started to get even more nervous. I went to the school. There were lots of kids playing, but no Grant. I drove slowly through the neighborhood. Why couldn't I find that bike?

I'm friends with several police officers and I know the stats. The majority of child abduction cases involve a parental dispute or some other kind of family issue. And think of the times you even hear about those. I tried to think of the odds. But then I also thought about what else could be going on, could Grant be so upset about our changing family environment that he ran away? I called Chris and he told me to call the police.

They came to the house quickly. Took Grant's description and his new school picture. ( I had grumbled about having to spend $60 for school pictures. The cheapest/value package was $20 x 3 kids=expensive, but now totally worth it.) He told me what would happen if they didn't find him in an hour. They told me what would happen if they didn't find him in 4 more hours. By this time, Grant had been not seen for an hour and a half.

I asked him if this happens frequently. And he said, "All the time." Usually kids go over to play at a friend's house and never tell anyone. But this police officer said, "But we never take chances." He hopped back in his patrol car and worked on canvassing the neighborhood.

Some of my neighbors started coming home from work and had noticed the patrol car right outside of our house. And then I see him. Grant riding his bike back to our house. He had stopped at a friend's house, one of the houses that I had stopped by to see if he was there. There had been no bike in the driveway. No one had answered my knock at the door. Somehow he had been squirreled away inside playing video games with two of his buddies.

And I started to think about all of the things we tell our kids to keep them safe. Don't answer the door, if you don't know who is there. These boys had an older brother home, but he must not have seen or recognized me at the front door. Their bikes were all in the garage. (There has been a rash of bike burglaries in our neighborhood. Read my blog post Training Wheels.) They were trying to be safe and at the same time, scared me to death.

Grant is grounded. Big time. And I keep letting him know that I am not angry with him. I was just scared. And he needs to really, really learn a lesson. If you want respect, you have to give it. Independence isn't free, it is earned. Integrity. Trust. Responsibility. All traits that even we as adults struggle with every day. But really, it all boils down to this: Do what you say you are going to do. Be where you say you are going to be. And everything will be all right. (And no one will have to call the police. God bless them.)