Bumpers

The other day I got rear-ended. On 84th Street on my way to HyVee to buy some groceries. There were a bunch of people turning into Kohl's for some reason and the traffic was backed up and I had to stop and the guy behind me wasn't paying as much attention as I was. Bam!

I get out. He gets out. My rear bumper is already pretty messed up from the day I drove the minivan off the Honda lot. I got rear-ended that day within 5 minutes of driving off the lot. No kidding. But all she left was the imprint of the screws on her license plate. This guy left the imprint of the screws of his license plate and a little extra small dent just for good measure.

I look at the damage. The guy was young, but not too young. Maybe 5 years younger than I am. His car was some average white sedan made most likely in the late '90's. He worked hard for the little money he had and it showed. I am unemployed. I am a single mom. I have no money and very soon could go into some serious debt. A little ding on my back bumper is really no big deal. To drag police officers and lawsuits and tickets and deductibles seemed like a serious waste of negative energy. So I sent him on his way. And he was happy.

Saturday was the Husker game vs. Texas. Chris had the kids in the afternoon, so I thought it would be fun to join my friends watching the game at a bar in downtown Lincoln. If you've never captured the frenzied fan atmosphere of Game Day in Husker Nation, you are surely missing out. Thousands of people, not only descend upon Memorial Stadium to cheer the Big Red on, but thousands of ticketless souls also (myself included) love to just drink in the spirit (pun intended) and revel in the sport of fandom.

I didn't get downtown until 2 and the game started at 2:30, so officially, I couldn't even find a parking spot "downtown." It was a little more like....down, dowtown. Not in the safest neighborhood in Lincoln. But there I saw it.....a spot just big enough to fit the Honda! If I just nestled it in so carefully.....backing up just a little bit to get it in just right......easy, easy....and I just gently kissed the car in front of me. I was being as careful as I could be. There was a guy on his cellphone on the other side of the road and two scary looking ladies (using the term the kindest spirit) smoking cigarettes outside of their rundown apartment. I admit, I was bumper to bumper with the car ahead of me, but I was grateful to have found a spot at all with all the craziness of Game Day action.

And then there was the game. (Ouch) Head hanging low, I head back to my car. It was dark. I was a little scared. I had my keys in hand, just in case some psycho wanted to steal my purse with the 4 different shades of lipgloss I have inside. Most of the traffic had gone by this point. I think that most people just wanted to go home and stick their heads in cartons of ice cream. (Yes, the loss was that bad.) And then I saw the note.

"You parked into my car and damaged the back bumper. Your plate info was taken along with pictures. Expect to hear from my lawyer."

Really? Really? First of all, I remember back in the day, the entire purpose of bumpers was to allow for a little bumping and scraping from time to time. That was why they were called "bumpers." Second of all, if you are this un-used to "creative parking" at Husker games, you should take the shuttle in. And third of all, what lawyer has access to running license plate numbers? And why would you pay that lawyer the $85 an hour to fix a $25 scratch on your bumper?

But really what struck me is how irate someone had gotten over something so stupid. Would this guy have gotten so mad if I had been there? If he had gotten to see my "disheveled-unemployed-I-need-help" face? It's a car!!!! When did we get so possessive of our "things?" I didn't hurt him or any of his family members. I maybe (and just maybe) scratched the bumper of his car a little bit. Something he worked hard for, sure, but again, just a "thing." It wasn't like I plowed into him. I nestled my car up next to his. Going maybe .5 miles/hour. It's a "thing!" If I had caused any damage (or even thought I had), I would have popped a note on his car. (Remember, there were witnesses.) Again, it is just a thing.

One day, we'll all be going somewhere where posessions don't matter. What kind of cellphone we had. What kind of shoes we wore. What kind of car we drove and whether or not it had a teeny tiny scratch on the back end bumper. What is most important is how we treat other people, how we spread kindness and love and how we forgive even those whose names we don't know: people who trespass against us (and drive Honda Odyssey mini-vans.)