Roses

I was running late this morning to do some Mary Kay facials on a former co-worker's wife and their daughters and I was going through downtown on O Street. I get really worked up when I'm late. I hate it and I was starting to get just a little frustrated with other drivers. I have to remind myself that they have just as much right to the road as I do, that they live at a different pace than I do, and they have different places to be that are equally as important as mine. Just move it a little faster, sweetie.

There was a car in front of me that was driving a bit erratically. Not quite "drunk driver" erratically, but doing some unnecessary slight swerving. That was one thing I noticed, the other was that this car was sparkling clean. Almost unnatural with all the slush and snirt all over the streets (snirt=snow + dirt). And the driver was having a tough time maintaining speed, a little slower here, muuuuch slower there. Who was this jackalope driving in front of me? (jackalope=donkey + antelope)

The driver was a middle aged man and his passenger looked (from behind) to be of similar age. What struck me was the behavior that they were exhibiting in broad daylight, at 9:30 in the morning. She was feeding him. Little bits of I don't know what. Actually putting little bites of something from her hand to his mouth. So sweet and romantic that this action seemed shocking to me. And she'd do it again. Not just once, but over and over, they were sharing some delicious morning treat.

Of course my imagination starts to wonder, what is this romantic snack? I felt convinced it had to be something sweet. A cinnamon roll perhaps? Something too sticky for him to eat with his own hands and handle the steering wheel, so his love needed to portion out bites for him to savor. Maybe it was a donut from the shop that they just stopped at to share a cup of coffee and some sweet talk. Maybe it was some homemade coffee cake that she had whipped up in her kitchen, an old family recipe that she needed to share with her love. Or maybe something spicy? A breakfast burrito with a little heat to spice up an already simmering love story.

I wondered who these lovers were, in the middle of their lives (and the road) acting like teenagers. Had they just met? Late love roaring with a passion. Was it a second-chance at love? Both partners having been burned by love's flame before, now finding a renewed spirit in another person. Or have they been together a long time?

I live next door to the Welcomers. That's not just what they do, that's actually their name, the Welcomers. Jill and Tim are both in their 50's and have 5 children, the youngest is a teenager. And Jill and Tim are still sweet on each other. Before she leaves the house, Tim makes sure that Jill has everything she might need for the day, sets her up with a bottle of water and stops what he's doing to make sure she's taken care of. He will not let her leave without a kiss.

I thought about the Welcomers when I looked at this couple in front of me (driving me crazy and fascinating me at the same time). I wonder if Jill feeds Tim pieces of cake or donuts and I know that they still do. After all that time, they somehow seem to keep the fire/oven/baked goods going.

Romance is hard to come by when you're living your life. Worried about finances, whether or not you'll find a job to pay the bills, drained after a day of discipling kids and disappointing bosses, dealing with illness and depression over things we have no control, balancing the needs of others, grocery shopping, errand running, list-making, nap-needing. Being worn down with the stresses that midlife brings, it's hard to believe that romance exists at all.

The phrase that I am reminded of is "The bloom is off the rose." And I suppose that's true. I've been married for 10 years and the days of Chris and I feeding each other is long gone. But even if the bloom is off the rose, at least it still is a rose. And Valentine's Day is just around the corner. I just might get Chris a heart-shaped box of cinnamon rolls.