NOW and the haircut

My blood is boiling. Mia is screaming upstairs. I hate you I hate you I hate you! We just got back from the salon where the boys got their hair cut. They were really starting to look shaggy and not in that "cool anti-establishment teen hearthrob even though I'm 8" way. In a trailer trash "Don't your parents take care of you?" way.

We got to the salon at just the right time, because I could get both boys in. Grant wants his hair a little longer than usual (read above description of style) and Spencer wanted the usual buzz in the back, tight on top look. When Mia found out she wasn't getting a haircut, she started to whine. And cry. And whine. And cry. I tried explaining that haircuts were $9 and if I were to get cuts for all of them plus a tip, we would have to spend $30. I tried explaining that she's a girl, she didn't really need a haircut, long hair is pretty and we're still trying to grow out her famous half-mullet experiment she pulled on herself a year ago. I tried bribing her with dollar store hair pretties. (If you haven't guessed by now. The Dollar Store in my nirvana. Guilt-free shopping rushes for only $1. And its amazing what you can find for just a buck.)

She wasn't having any of it. All she could see was that her brothers were getting special treatment and she wasn't. No logic or reason would soothe her. This was her first taste of gender inequality. First, falling behind on grooming practices, next overlooked in science class, and finally under-paid/under-appreciated for doing equal (if not more) work than a man. Welcome to the world sweetie!

I just need to remind her of all of the perks that women receive that men can never enjoy.

1) Hair pretties/options. Up until the 60's (unless you count the Revolutionary War and Cavemen), men's hairstyles were for the most part....boring. Oh look! This time he parted it on the left side! Now he's parted it on the right! As women, we can go long or short, straight or curly, bangs or no bangs, ponytail/pigtails, headband, bun, french twist, swiss braids or the Dorothy Hamill (One of the other reasons I really want Mia to keep her hair long. My mom kept my sister and I in the Dorothy Hamill haircut for years. I remember envying Laura Ingalls braids on Little House on the Prairie and feeling so hurt when a woman wondered why a boy (me) was in the women's restroom at Marshall Fields.)

2) Lipstick. The perfect picker-uper. I challenge any woman who might be having a bad day...job loss, grieving the loss of a friend, perpetual lateness, pms...to put on just the right shade of lipstick and not feel instantly better. (Keep in mind I am a Mary Kay consultant, so if you are a woman and you disagree with this statement, you just haven't found the right shade...and I can help!)

3) Crying. Even with sensitivity training and a new post-modern vibe on masculinity, it still is not okay for men/boys to cry. When my boys do it, I want to punch them in the arm and tell them to "suck it up buttercup." Of course I don't, but I'd like to. Sometimes, there's nothing in the world like a good crying session. Now, true, it needs to be in the right place and time with only the right people around you. I've cried at the radio station (many times) and they've looked at me like I forgot to take my Prozac in the morning. Nope. Sometimes I just feel bad about something and sometimes my feelings come out of my eyeballs. That's it. When you can cry into a soft pillow and rest your weary head and have someone say, "It's all going to be okay. I'll take care of you," that can be the best feeling in the world. Completely releasing your emotions, your soul, and knowing that someone who loves you will take care of you is the best part about being a woman. Not that we can't take care of ourselves, but knowing that there is someone who loves us and is willing to be there for us, is good enough.

So when we got home, (Mia crying and screaming the whole way home) I put her in her room until she could calm down. I went upstairs and just gave her a hug. I was there for her. And that's all she needed. Not that she can't take care of herself (she gave herself the half-mullet the last time), but sometimes Mom is good enough.