Piece of Cake

"Zach has loo-kee-mata," Grant said when he came home from school one day.

Thinking I misheard him I asked, "You mean mononucleosis?" Not that most 8-year olds get the kissing disease, but I didn't want to think about the alternative.

"No, it's a kind of cancer," Grant said. One of his classmates, a little boy that he had known since pre-school had leukemia.

I've been fortunate in my radio career to be able to go down to St. Jude's Research Center in Memphis, Tenn. The amazing work down there has drastically changed the survival rates of childhood blood cancers. Now, with the right treatment and prayers, kids who are diagnosed with leukemia have a 94% survival rate. Of course, the treatment sucks. Kids miss a lot of school. And it is expensive.

So Grant's Cub Scout pack decided to do a Cake Auction fundraiser. I love to bake so I was all up for it. It was not a competition. It was a fundraiser. However, the idea of my cake bringing in a huge bid was exciting so I knew I needed to get creative. I also knew my target was 8-9 year old boys and their parents. So I hit the internet and stole the idea to do 2 little cakes that looked like wii remotes.

Of course the morning I was doing these I was completely rushed and had to drag all three kids with me from store to store, so I had to use some shortcuts. I used already made frozen pound cake, rolled out premade fondant and bought some of those edible markers you can get at Michaels. Easy as pie, except that it was cake.

We headed over to the auction with our creations and picked up an extra 5 or 6 neighborhood kids on our way there. Not on purpose. But when you see a lady walking down the street with 2 cakes in her hand, you follow. I'm the new Pied Piper of my neighborhood. I brought $10 because I knew my kids would want to buy a cake of their own.

I put my cake down on the auction table and was amazed at what I saw. There were probably about 30 cakes there. All different kinds and shapes and flavors. Some absolutely gorgeous. Some plain. Cupcakes, pirate cakes, Cub Scout cakes, tiered cakes, treasure cakes, a Stormtrooper cake (!)... Amazing.

I asked which cake the kids wanted to take home and Grant told me he had his eye on the Army cake. Grant is very into all things military and this cake was incredible. It had little plastic Army guys all over it. A tank next to it. The frosting was a mix of green and brown food coloring and looked a little like camouflage. There were crumbled up bits of graham cracker to look like "dirt." This was a cool cake. And it was towards the end of the auction.

The auction began and I started to get nervous. The bidding started at $5 and almost all of the cakes went for at least $15. Most went for $30 or more. When the (plain) homemade German chocolate cake went for $51, I got really nervous. I only brought $10. How was I going to get Grant his Army cake?

And then I remembered my Aunt Terri. Just a few days earlier I had gotten a note in the mail. I had seen my Aunt Terri at my cousin T's wedding a month ago when I was still unemployed and going through my rough patch. She sent me a little note telling me how much she enjoyed seeing my kids and how I was in her prayers. Inside the note, she stuck a check for $50.

I received this note a week after I started my new job at the bank. I didn't know what to do with the money. I know she wanted to help me out of a rough spot, but I was now getting out of the rough spot and I felt like I didn't deserve it anymore. Thank goodness, my run of bad luck was over. My mom said that Aunt Terri wanted me to have it even still. "To spend it on something fun with the kids."

The Army cake was coming up for bid. With Aunt Terri's help, I knew I could put in a bid. And then some. The bids went up and up and up. I kept raising my hand. "$25...who's got $26?" I do! I do!

The frenzy of an auction can be intoxicating. You don't ever really feel like you're buying something, you feel more like you're winning something. And I felt like I could really win this cake.

"$45 now, who's got $46?" the auctioneer called out.

"I've got $50!!!!" I yelled, so excited to try and make my little folks happy.

"51!" Someone yelled from the back of the room. "$55!" "I've got 60!" The bids kept going up and up. Higher and higher.

"Mom! Bid higher!" Grant pleaded. But I couldn't. Even with my generous gift, I don't have that much money. I've got a job now, but I also have a year's worth of unemployment debt to recover from.

The cake finally went for $78. Grant started to cry. We had lost the cake he had his hopes on.

"That's okay Grant," I told him. "Remember, the money is going to Zach." (And it turns out that particular cake was going to Zach too. The winning bidder wanted Zach to have that cake.)

There were only two more cakes up for auction. One of them being perhaps the biggest sheet cake I have ever seen in my life. It had the Cub Scouts Bears logo on it and it took almost two people to hold it up. The neighborhood kids who were sitting with me were anxious. To come to a cake auction and come away with no cake just didn't seem fair. And then the bidding began....

"$25...$30....$32....$35....$38?"

"$40!" I yelled and raised my hand!

"Sold! To the woman in the front row with the 20 kids!" My little crew got so excited. They couldn't wait to get a closer look at that cake. I needed a couple of them to help me carry the thing home, it was so huge.

We got back and everyone had a slice. And then some. I took a third of the cake over to the neighbors and sent each group of kids home with another huge chunk. We have had cake for breakfast for the past 3 days. And there is still some left in the refrigerator.

It made me feel fantastic to be able to buy that cake. I was able to get something fun for my kids. I was able to get something fun for all of the kids in the neighborhood. I was able to feed my neighbors. And I was able to help out a kid who was going through his rough patch. A patch rougher than I have ever had to face.

Now, if you can do the math, you must realize that I only spent $40 on that cake. And Aunt Terri gave me $50. What am I going to do with the other $10?

I am going to the store to get some little Army guys, a tank and some graham crackers and I am going to bake the most fantastic Army cake ever!!!!!

Snackin' with Zac

OMG!!!!! I thought to myself. Loudly. Is that who I think it is? Is that....?

I had to stop at Target on my way home from a Mary Kay benefit. I needed toilet paper and bread. (And Target just so happens to have these little single servings of wine that look like juice boxes, but aren't.) I didn't get a cart because I was only getting two things. But I had to pick up some chips and salsa to go with the wine, so now I am fully laden with Target goodness when I saw him walk right by and turn into the aisle behind me.

Zac Lee, third string quarterback for the Nebraska Cornhuskers!!!!!!!! He was first string last year and this year played in quite a few games actually as the other two guys kept getting hurt. And that's one of the things that I love about him. He basically was demoted from a superstar position and rather than be pouty and quit, he sucked it up and for the love of the game and the pride of Nebraska he played anyway. He gave advice to the younger guys that got promoted ahead of him. He's one stand-up guy.

Plus, he's totally hot! I would include a picture of him right here, but I am not legally allowed to do so. So you have to imagine a young Adonis with short brown hair, dreamy eyes, broad shoulders, a twinkling smile, and a schnazzy blue hoodie.

He was there looking in the food section of Target with some guy and I wish I would have paid attention to what they were looking at. That would have made a good addition to this story. "OMG, I saw Zac Lee at Target and he was buying....cheezits or pickles or peanut butter." But I was so flustered it was all I could do to not drop my salsa.

I stood in the next aisle over wondering what to do. What was amazing to me is that I think I was the only one who seems to have recognized him. Should I go up to him and casually give him a wink? "Like you know that I know who you are but I am not going to be obnoxious and spoil your shopping experience because I'm cool like that."

Or should I think of my children and go and ask for his autograph? I considered this but also remembered that my arms were full of toilet paper, bread, wine and chips and salsa. So, rummaging around in my overstuffed purse for something for him to write on and the odds of finding something for him to write with (that wasn't made by Crayola) were slim.

I also considered the honest approach. But then how often does he get women blabbering, gushing all over him saying that they are his biggest fans. He should be able to come to Target with a buddy to by....granola bars without getting accosted by middle-aged stalkers.

Of course by the time I collected my wits and calmed myself down (a little), he was already in the check out lane. I stood in line with my secret wondering if anyone else was going crazy inside.

He left and I couldn't hold it in any longer. "Did you see who that just was?" I exploded. "Zac Lee! And he was here! And in person! And he's a Husker! And I can't believe he was here at Target! And oh my gosh he's so cute!!!!!!!"

The male checker just looked at me. Blankly. "Well you know, he's got a girlfriend."

I took a minute. Thought about it.

So you mean, if it weren't for the girlfriend, I might have a shot with Zac Lee?

Whoo Hoo! Not that there's a 15+-year age difference or that I'm a newly separated, mini-van driving mother of three with graying temples and hopefully eventually smaller saddlebags? Not that he's a collegiate superstar athlete who could rival any movie star with his handsomeness? There's only one thing keeping me from falling into the arms of this hot, young, talented golden boy. It's the girlfriend.

Darn. Oh well. Look me up when you're free, Zac. I'll be at Target, buying some of  your favorite....snack crackers?

Snuggling with the Jonas Brothers

So if I would have gotten the news 3 weeks ago, I would have been sick. Might have pushed me over the edge. I woke up two mornings ago and it felt cold, I went downstairs to check and it was only 57 degrees. Called the heating guy and sure enough, our 20-year old furnace bit the dust. (Which makes me feel good that I am not a furnace, but really....1992 did not feel that long ago. How ancient must I be if I can outlive a major appliance.) The damage? $1700. The good news? I have a job!!!!!!!!!

I finally got hired. After 13 months and lots of applications and no phone calls and strange personality tests later, I have been hired by a regional bank to do their social media marketing: Facebook, youtube, twitter, blogging....right up my alley!!!! (I told you! You just have to get out of the house every once in a while.)

So, even though this huge expense is debilitating, it's debilitation that can be paid off....eventually. I'll have a paycheck coming eventually. I start on Tuesday. In the meantime, the house was FREEZING. The furnace guys were coming in the morning, but that night we had to go all Pioneer-style.

I borrowed some space heaters from my fabulous friend Christy. (Check out her blog: raisingjustice.blogspot.com) And went to the HyVee to buy some firewood. One of the reasons we bought this house was for the fireplace and last night, its value was recognized 10-fold. At this point the temperature in the house was only 52-eventually it got down to 44. It was the coldest day of the year so far in Lincoln, NE. Something like 5 below with 11 below windchills. (And yes, for my friends in Fargo, that is nothing. You have it much worse. Remember, I lived up there for 6 years. That is why I do not live there now.)

I decided that the kids and I would all sleep in the tv room with the fireplace. The rest of the house was already very cold. I grabbed as many blankets and pillows as I could and made a nice little mommy nest in front of the fireplace. I also thought ahead (so proud of myself for this one), and grabbed clothes for the kids for the next day, because I know how tough it is to put your warm body into semi-frozen undergarments. (Again, Fargo. 6 years.)

I got that fire going. Read book after book. Did a lot of snuggling. And I am well aware that I start my new job on Tuesday. My days of being able to take the kids to school and pick them up are over. The trek home after a long day of math and reading and writer's workshop are over. My days of helping Mia's kindergarten class learn how to hold marshmallows in their mouths, over. (Brilliant idea of how to keep little ones quiet: Tell them to hold pretend marshmallows in their mouths.) Bundling the kids up, looking for shoes, packing backpacks and watching them walk in those school doors to be "educated." Those days are over. I'm not a reluctant stay-at-home mom any more.

But now, I can pay for a furnace. I do have to admit that I was a little worried about our safety. The temperature was dropping in the rest of the house and even in our little room, outside of our nest, it was pretty chilly. I had my fake down comforter for the boys. And Mia and I had on 3 layers of blankets, including a blanket featuring the Disney pop sensation the Jonas Brothers-a "hand me down" from one of my sister's friends. (Oddly enough, in our current cable-free, economic status, my daughter doesn't know exactly who the Jonas Brothers are. But they look cute enough.)  And I don't know what kind of fleece hybrid this blanket is made out of, but it is an amazingly warm little throw. And perfectly sized for a 39 year old woman and her 5-year old.

After what seemed like the 30th chapter out of a Harry Potter book, the kids finally fell asleep. I kept an eye on the fire hoping that we didn't either catch on fire or freeze in the middle of the night. As I looked in the fire, I got all spiritual and philosophical. (As most do while gazing into a roaring fire at 3 in the morning.) I was reminded about how crazy it is that fortune and tragedy are intermingled. I get a job. I have to pay for a furnace. The house is freezing, but we have a fireplace. We could become little people popsicles in the middle of the night, but we would have adorable Jonas Brothers wrappers.

As I finally drifted off to sleep myself, I was grateful. Grateful for the blessings that I have been given. Grateful for my children. Grateful for wonderful, supportive friends. Grateful for the opportunity to now show a business what I can accomplish. Grateful to be alive in 2011, where we actually have solid walls and cars and furnaces (when they work) and indoor plumbing (as cold as our toilet seats got....I could only imagine having to walk 10 feet to an outhouse.)

And last, but not least, of course, I am grateful for snuggling with those Jonas Brothers.

Unemploment Envy and Naps

One of the features I wanted to include in this blog (besides the therapeutic release of being able to share the stories of this crazy Tilt-a-Whirl of a life I have) was to use it as a public service guide for the Unemployed. I'm sure that no government agency will officially sanction it. And that's okay. It's really just a few things that I have learned in my 13 months of being unemployed that I wanted to share with my friends/family that are also newly left "without a paddle."

So here are some more tips learned from the Unemployment Line:

1) There is no unemployment line. In fact, most times, there is no one to talk to. My fellow "Non-jobbers" joke that the ideal solution is to give unemployed people jobs at the unemployment office, because the office is woefully understaffed.

I think the original idea was to try to make filing for unemployment insurance strictly an on-line endeavor. Which is great, but there are so many questions, the website isn't always clear, and for most of us, this is the first time we have been unemployed and have absolutely no clue how any of this is supposed to work. Talking to a person and having them answer our questions is soothing. Especially for people who are on the cusp of spiraling depression and doom. There is a phone number to call and talk to someone, but I was on hold for 45 minutes the other day waiting to file for my Emergency Unemployment Insurance, (it's been over a year-no job) before I was able to talk to someone. (Also, never call on a Monday. You will NEVER get through.) Which leads me to my next tip....

2) Be nice to the Unemployment Person. He/she can help you a lot. Sure, you have no job, and you are a little bitter about the fact that you've been on hold for 45 minutes or longer and are frustrated and on the brink of financial ruin, and some schmo who does have a job finally picks up the phone to answer your question. The first instinct is to be nasty. But imagine what job this schmo has: nine hours of being yelled at by jerks like  you. That's what his/her job is. Maybe a lunch break in there. But nine hours of being yelled at by crazy, slightly unhinged, panic-ridden jobless folks who are disparately clinging to a few hundred bucks a week so they can afford ramen noodles and cheap wine. And I'm guessing these customer service positions don't exactly pay well themselves. So be nice to them. They can submit your paperwork. And get you a check. (Plus, I think the world would be a better place if everyone was a little nicer to each other.)

3) Take a nap. Because you can. You will walk around during the afternoon, envious of all that are working. I drove by a construction site the other day, so jealous of the dirty guy in the hole cleaning out some gunk that needed to be cleaned out in freezing weather. He had a job. He knew he would get a paycheck at the end of the week and he knew that he could pay his bills and feed his family. (I could clean gunk!) But I don't have a gunk-cleaning job right now. They haven't called me back from my application. I've gotten one job-related call this week. Other than that my phone has been quiet. After a certain period of time, there is nothing I can do. I now have to sit and wait. And take a nap. I'm envious of the gunk guy. He's jealous of me for the ability to take a nap in the middle of the day. It's one of the perks of having nothing to do.

You can drive yourself crazy with the "I shoulds." I should be cleaning the house. I should be organizing the garage. I should be cleaning out the closets. I should be alphabetizing the Hot Wheels collection. I should be micromanaging and sorting the Legos. But you will become crazy. You have enough pressure on you to deal with your job loss and on-going depression that it is perfectly okay for you to take a nap once in a while. Go for a walk. Read a silly magazine. Spend too much time on Facebook. All without judgment from the Have A Job folks. If you are honestly applying and looking for work, it is okay to take a break here and there. Just make sure that your hour-long nap doesn't take up your whole afternoon. Or your half-hour Bejeweled session doesn't last all weekend.

Just a few more tips from the Land of Joblessness. I'll have some more as I think about them. I do have a busy day today. Lunch with the first-grader. Maybe a little vacuuming in the afternoon. Right now, I'm off to take a little siesta.

Names

I went home for the New Year's weekend to celebrate with family and friends and to attend the wedding of my cousin Tee Reynolds (who is the most beautiful young woman in the entire world). I love going to weddings, even in my broken-marriage state. Life is so beautiful so new. Love is young and full of potential, before selfishness and mental illness can spoil it. (Whoops. This is supposed to be a positive blog.) And the great thing now is that I can actually go to out-of-Nebraska weddings. When I was in radio, I couldn't leave during our ratings periods which tended to be in the Spring and Fall, also a very popular time for weddings. Tee has 7 other brothers and sisters so there have been 6 Reynolds weddings in the past 12 or so years and I have missed most of them.

I ran into my cousin's cousin Steve.(I'm not sure if I am related to him or not. If I am once, twice or thrice-removed/) The joke was that at the last Reynolds cousin's wedding, Steve introduced his wife by the wrong name. I think they had been married for a year and he introduced her to my sister as "Amy." Her name is Kim. Whoops! My sister tried to make a joke about how the people in our family always call people by the wrong names, but the year-old bride was not happy.

At another Reynolds wedding, my mother was seated at a table with her brother and his new girlfriend. My mother has a fabulous personality, a warm spirit and can remember lots of things....except the names of things. So you can imagine how great it went over when my mom kept referring to her brother's new girlfriend, "Kathy" as "Sally" his ex-wife's name.

I have had lots of names over my life. I have been Sue Bayou, Deanna Santana, Deanna D, Cyndi Layne and maybe one or two others that I can't think of. My step-mom asked me at the dinner table the night before New Year's whether or not I was going to keep my married name. Absolutely! I've never felt that my name made me who I was. What I did, what I said, how I made people feel, that is what made me who I was. Never my name. A name is just something that you use to call someone. And sometimes people don't even get that right.

My mother-in-law (ex-mother-in-law?) has a terrific method of getting your attention. She came from a family of like 32 kids, had 5 of her own, and somehow always had the neighborhood hanging out at her house. She calls everyone "Charlie." She only needs to remember one name, and, believe it or not, you know exactly when she's referring to you.

And then discussion turned to whether or not I should change the name of this blog. Chris has suggested that I change it for a while, considering I don't talk too much about football. My sister Krissy says that it makes me sound like I should have a son on the Nebraska team. The name came from the idea that I am a mom from Nebraska and I write little stories. But again, the name isn't too important to me, so I'm up for suggestions. "Off the Air?" "The Mic-less Wonder?" "When's She Gonna Snap?" Send me an e-mail or note with any ideas that you have and I will consider them.

Or I suppose I could always call it "A Day with Charlie."

Joblessness and BS

So as of December 11th, I have been unemployed (in a full-time status) for one year. And I have learned a few things. I thought I'd write a little something about what I have learned and you can take it or leave it....(keep in mind, I am still without a job). Maybe this is more of "learn what not to do" list than a "to do" list, but you can make up your own mind.

1) Shower every morning, put on some make-up, and put on your pants. And sweatpants/pajama bottoms don't count. Unemployment ranks right up there on the scale of "death of a loved one" when it comes to emotional stress, ask any therapist. As Americans, our identity is so closely linked to our occupation that when we lose our jobs, it's exactly like losing our sense of who we are. And if we aren't careful, "who we are" can easily become a depressed, lost mess. It can be so easy to stay in bed and/or become one with the couch. So by forcing yourself to be clean, forcing yourself to be presentable, and squeezing yourself into your jeans, you are at least "faking" it to yourself that you know who you are: a clean, pretty, presentable person who will find a job. Very soon.

Very important: the whole jeans vs. sweatpants thing. I have gained 30 pounds over the past year. 20 of which have been in the last 2 1/2 months. Not pretty. But it's really hard to notice the waistline expanding when the waistline of your pants expands with it. Plus a kitchen full of Nutty Bars, Swiss Rolls and Doritos calling your name all day doesn't help either.

2) Get out of the house. Take the mornings to apply for unemployment insurance and look for jobs on-line. But if  you sit in front of that computer all day, YOU WILL GO CRAZY. I will admit to being addicted to Facebook, because somewhere in my twisted mind I am sure that one day, someone will say, "Hey! You are so great at this Facebook thing, how'd you like a job doing it for $100,000/year."

Plus, I think there is something to be said for "a watched pot never boils." Get out of the house in the afternoons and someone will call you for an interview. Sit there by the phone and no one will.

Volunteer for something. Help out in your child's class. I've been helping out my daughter's kindergarten class on Wednesday afternoons and have learned a ton about how those little minds work. Plus, she loves it and I get an inside scoop on all of the 5-year old drama going on.

Run an errand. I do a lot of grocery shopping (maybe that has something to do with the weight gain....?) because I love that store. There is just something so soothing about the bright calming lights of the HyVee. All of the employees are so friendly. There's free samples at every turn. And who knew that you could get absolutely delicious fried won tons in the Chinese department of a grocery store. Pick an errand to run and get outside.

3.) Don't expect the call. I have applied for on average 5-6 jobs a week and will get 1 call back for every 20-25 jobs I apply for. And that might even be stretching it. No one calls you back any more. And I have a college degree and 20 years experience in the work force. I suppose I am under/over qualified for a lot of the positions that I am applying for, but.....I just need a job. I've read that if you really want the job, you have to call and pester the hiring manager, but I have noticed that a lot of the jobs that I am applying for are faceless. There's no one to call, no one to talk to. Plus, I never really know if I want the job to begin with. I know I want a job, but there's nothing making me fired up to call the company back so that I can work 50 hours a week selling....door hinges.

But they for sure won't call you. At least not as often as  you would like and that can bruise the old ego a bit. So don't take it personally. The job market sucks. You just gotta keep plugging away.

4) B.S. Every once in a while you may get an interview and this can be where things get tricky. I have now gotten to do several interviews, and you start to feel like a robot, answering the same questions over and over again. One of my favorites is "Why do you want to sell door hinges?" (Or obviously whatever the company does that you are trying to get the opportunity to do for them.)  And then you have to come up with some inspired and passionate-sounding answer to why you just really want a paycheck because you need to pay some bills and feed your children. "Because I like the idea of being able to open the door on a future with your company....(BS, BS, BS...)"

There is a fine line between creative BS and desperation. If you start to feel that your answers to interview questions are like those coming out of a blond beauty pageant contestant's mouth and don't feel like they are your own, you may need to practice your BS-ing. skills. Find a friend and have them interview you. There are also a lot of great mock interview questions on the internet that you can practice with over and over again. The main thing to remember when shoveling out your BS, if you're not sure of the quality, keep things short. Just a whiff, instead of a full-on aromatherapy session will do for your interview.


There's the first four tips. I'll try and share more over the next few days/weeks. But it's time for me to get my pants on and leave the house. Otherwise I could be trapped in my own B.S.

Locked Out

I am the worst mother ever. (And I'm sure all moms will relate to this story and it's accompanying feeling.)

Last night, Grant had his first basketball practice. I remembered to buy him a new ball, but I forgot to get him some new shoes. So there he was slipping and sliding all over the court in his "running around in" shoes that I bought him in September. (I've heard Michael Jordan started out slipping and sliding all over the court in bad shoes.)

So I took him to the store to buy him some new ones and find out that in 3 1/2 months his Size 3 1/2 shoes were waaaay too small. My little man now wears a 5. His feet have grown a full size and a half in just under four months! This kid has been walking around in shoes that are way too small, so now not only do I have to buy him basketball shoes, I also have to buy him "running around in" shoes. (And yes, I do mean my little man. He just started wearing deodorant. Because he needed to. While I'm sure he doesn't want me to share that with the rest of the world, I cannot believe my baby stinks like a man.)

We went to Target, and he picked out a pair of "skater" shoes (on sale only $19.99!!!) and we headed out the door. This morning we woke up and started getting ready for school. Ten minutes before the final bell rang, we were putting the shoes on, and I realized that I have no idea how to tie these shoes. When I was in school, the skaters wore Chuck Taylors and they were easy to tie. These new Millennium "skater" shoes had two sets of laces. Two sets, per shoe. (WTF!!!!-What the French Horn!?) I could not for the life of me figure out how to tie two sets of shoelaces, especially not on a time crunch (now 8 minutes before they need to be at school), so I yelled, swore, and blamed the stupid shoes. I promised them a certain return to Target (with receipt) and made Grant stuff his Size 5's back into his Size 3 1/2's just so we could get to school on time.

I headed out to Target to return the shoes (with receipt) and as I headed back to my minivan, I fished around in my purse looking for my keys and had that sinking feeling.....I locked my keys in the Honda. There they were, plain as day, sitting locked in the van. And I didn't freak out.

Remembering I have no cell phone, I again fished around in the bottom of my purse, feeling my way past lip glosses, pens, a Hot Wheels car and more receipts for some spare change and headed back into the store. I looked up and down the front of the store, by the bathrooms, by the customer service desk and I realized that it is 2010 (almost 2011) and pay phones don't really exist any more and haven't for at least two decades. Again, I didn't freak out.

Right then, my friend Pam walks through the door. Beautiful, beautiful Pam whom I worked with at the radio station. Beautiful Pam, with a cellphone. Quick hug and "How ya doin'" and she lets me borrow her phone. I call my ex-husband (Estranged spouse? Father of my children? Keeper of the extra van key?) and leave a message on his cellphone telling him that I am locked out, and I realize that I don't know if he will get the message at all. Pam and I chit chat for a while. I leave another message on Chris' phone. Pam has got to get back to work and again, I don't freak out.

I started to feel a little bit like that movie with Natalie Portman, where she's pregnant and lives at Walmart. Only, I'm not pregnant, I'm at Target, and I have a debit card. So I buy myself a sandwich and go sit on the bench outside, just in case Chris should show up with the extra key.

I'm sitting outside enjoying the wonderful day. 50 degrees and sunny on a December day in Lincoln, NE. I'm enjoying watching the people go by. A (I hate to be judgmental, but what looks like a scruffy bum) scruffy bum walks by talking on his cellphone. (I am sure by now that I am the last living person without a cellphone.) My friend Meredith drives by and I consider chasing after her, not to see if she can save me or break into my car to rescue my keys, but to tell her Happy Birthday! And then I decide to walk home.

Target is only about 25 blocks or so from my house. I am guessing 4-6 miles. I used to run 3. I could walk for 6 miles. The weather is beautiful. The only place I need to be is at school to pick up the kids at 3:30 and it is only 1 o'clock. So I leave a note for Chris under the windshield wipers and start to walk.

And that was when I realized that I have been truly, truly blessed. The crises that I have suffered over the past two years with my job loss, my marriage failure and the constant challenge of child-rearing. The pain. The depression. The day to day stress and struggle to keep my head above water. What the "bad stuff" truly prepares us for is for moments like this. I locked myself out of my car. Any other time before this, I would have agonized over this. I would have looked at the worst. I would have stressed OUT at being inconvenienced and despaired over my plight.

But today, it was an adventure. Okay, so I locked my keys in my car and don't have a cell phone, now what? Oh, God Bless! Here comes Beautiful Pam! Oh, I'm stranded at Target during lunch time, now what? Oh, God Bless! Target has a delicious turkey flatbread sandwich. I was able to soak in some sun. I could enjoy watching the Christmas shoppers. I had no place I needed to be. And even starting the six mile trudge home, it was 50 degrees outside. I had to take off my scarf because I got warm. God Bless!

We hear all of the time that God does not give us more than we can handle. Of course when we are going through the storm, all of that seems hard to understand. But it is so true. Every challenge only makes us tougher. Every obstacle only makes us smarter, more agile. The challenges in life are God's gift to us. With every challenge in life, we get stronger and He so wants us to be strong. The good thing is He knows how much we can handle. Even when we don't. And he will reward us on our journey. With good friends, a sunny day, and a delicious turkey flat bread sandwich.