Unemploment Envy and Naps

One of the features I wanted to include in this blog (besides the therapeutic release of being able to share the stories of this crazy Tilt-a-Whirl of a life I have) was to use it as a public service guide for the Unemployed. I'm sure that no government agency will officially sanction it. And that's okay. It's really just a few things that I have learned in my 13 months of being unemployed that I wanted to share with my friends/family that are also newly left "without a paddle."

So here are some more tips learned from the Unemployment Line:

1) There is no unemployment line. In fact, most times, there is no one to talk to. My fellow "Non-jobbers" joke that the ideal solution is to give unemployed people jobs at the unemployment office, because the office is woefully understaffed.

I think the original idea was to try to make filing for unemployment insurance strictly an on-line endeavor. Which is great, but there are so many questions, the website isn't always clear, and for most of us, this is the first time we have been unemployed and have absolutely no clue how any of this is supposed to work. Talking to a person and having them answer our questions is soothing. Especially for people who are on the cusp of spiraling depression and doom. There is a phone number to call and talk to someone, but I was on hold for 45 minutes the other day waiting to file for my Emergency Unemployment Insurance, (it's been over a year-no job) before I was able to talk to someone. (Also, never call on a Monday. You will NEVER get through.) Which leads me to my next tip....

2) Be nice to the Unemployment Person. He/she can help you a lot. Sure, you have no job, and you are a little bitter about the fact that you've been on hold for 45 minutes or longer and are frustrated and on the brink of financial ruin, and some schmo who does have a job finally picks up the phone to answer your question. The first instinct is to be nasty. But imagine what job this schmo has: nine hours of being yelled at by jerks like  you. That's what his/her job is. Maybe a lunch break in there. But nine hours of being yelled at by crazy, slightly unhinged, panic-ridden jobless folks who are disparately clinging to a few hundred bucks a week so they can afford ramen noodles and cheap wine. And I'm guessing these customer service positions don't exactly pay well themselves. So be nice to them. They can submit your paperwork. And get you a check. (Plus, I think the world would be a better place if everyone was a little nicer to each other.)

3) Take a nap. Because you can. You will walk around during the afternoon, envious of all that are working. I drove by a construction site the other day, so jealous of the dirty guy in the hole cleaning out some gunk that needed to be cleaned out in freezing weather. He had a job. He knew he would get a paycheck at the end of the week and he knew that he could pay his bills and feed his family. (I could clean gunk!) But I don't have a gunk-cleaning job right now. They haven't called me back from my application. I've gotten one job-related call this week. Other than that my phone has been quiet. After a certain period of time, there is nothing I can do. I now have to sit and wait. And take a nap. I'm envious of the gunk guy. He's jealous of me for the ability to take a nap in the middle of the day. It's one of the perks of having nothing to do.

You can drive yourself crazy with the "I shoulds." I should be cleaning the house. I should be organizing the garage. I should be cleaning out the closets. I should be alphabetizing the Hot Wheels collection. I should be micromanaging and sorting the Legos. But you will become crazy. You have enough pressure on you to deal with your job loss and on-going depression that it is perfectly okay for you to take a nap once in a while. Go for a walk. Read a silly magazine. Spend too much time on Facebook. All without judgment from the Have A Job folks. If you are honestly applying and looking for work, it is okay to take a break here and there. Just make sure that your hour-long nap doesn't take up your whole afternoon. Or your half-hour Bejeweled session doesn't last all weekend.

Just a few more tips from the Land of Joblessness. I'll have some more as I think about them. I do have a busy day today. Lunch with the first-grader. Maybe a little vacuuming in the afternoon. Right now, I'm off to take a little siesta.