Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Ribbons and Victory

Feels like 108 degrees. Actually 95. The sun is blaring. The humidity makes the air so thick you could choke on it. My daughter Mia and I are at her track meet. But not just any track meet, the Field Finals for the Little Green Classic.

I have written about the South Lincoln Track Club. (See blog post: "Jocks and Candy Bars") It is a fantastic organization that has been around Lincoln for generations, encouraging young people to fall in love with athletics. Great history. Great cause. Tonight was the Field Event finals for the year. Next week are the running events. Tonight was the first test for these young "ath-el-etes." A culmination of several months worth of training. The events consisted of TENNIS BALL THROW or the traditional LONG JUMP. Mia chose to compete in the LONG JUMP.

We got to the event. Water bottle filled with mostly ice. Mia's hair=appropriately cute. (How different, starting my parenting journey with two boys in sports. I had no idea how important having a "cute-yet fully functional hair style" was for sporting events.) I am pinning Mia's number to the back of her uniform, when I find out that Mia is competing in the 5-year old category.

"What?" I say, concerned. "She just turned 5 on Saturday!" I was imagining her competing against Amazonian kindergartners, hopped up on juice boxes and steroids. Mia is small for her age, so you can imagine my concern when I find out that my newly-turned 5-year old will be competing with children that have up to 362 more days experience in their 5-year old bodies than she does. They have spent a whole fifth of their lives acclimating themselves to the way that their bodies work. Mia just turned 5 this past weekend! I was questioning the unjustness of everything in my head, until the coach reminded me that Mia has been competing against these same kids all year. Silly Mommy.

I sit over by the long jump sand pit and wait for Mia's group to compete. They play round after round of Duck, Duck, Goose until it's their turn to jump. The little girls all line up to do their best. Because of the incredible heat index, the director of the organization makes the decision that this is a "one-jump only" contest. Usually, they give the kids a "best-out-of-two" option, but because it is oppressively hot, one jump is enough. The director advises the kids to "give it their all" and wishes them luck.

The girls (all with incredibly cute variations of incredibly cute hair) line up to jump. Mia is in the second heat. She is the second competitor to go. The first girl jumps five feet, five inches. Mia gets ready to run and jump, cheeks flushed, hair adorable (a little bit curlier in this heat), look of intensity on her face. She lands five feet, even. A few of the other girls jump, and they are not even close to the front runners, so I go over to congratulate my baby.

The group of girls waits and waits. The woman in charge of handing out the ribbons is obviously confused as to where the girls who jumped in that heat are sitting. "Over here!" I say loudly. She doesn't hear me. "Over HERE!" I say, trying to get her attention. This woman hands out ribbon, after ribbon, trying to match competitor's numbers with their appropriate standing. She starts handing out ribbons to the girls who competed after Mia, while Mia still hasn't gotten a ribbon.

"Hey, what about number 345?" I say with support from some of the other parents and a coach who was concerned about Mia not getting a ribbon.

"Uh,......here ya go." The lady says and thrusts Mia a green ribbon.

A green ribbon. Well what the heck does that mean? Did she earn that green ribbon? I was listening to the distance monitors and didn't think that Mia had won the green. I wasn't sure, but the lady who was handing out ribbons just handed her the green one, because that was what she had left in her hand.

At this point, I had a decision to make. I never want to be one of "Those Moms" who whine and complain all of the time about the unfair treatment that their child is getting. I want to have faith in my coaches, that they know what they are doing, and I will respect their positions. I think my kids will learn lessons from all of the adults around them, and I don't need to step in to be the "Mom on Wheels" and fix all of the problems.

But it felt like 108 degrees. Actually 95. The sun was blaring and the humidity was so thick you could choke on it. So I complained. A little. "Did Mia earn that green ribbon?" I asked a coach. He did some checking and in fact Mia was second in her heat and indeed earned a red ribbon.

I would not have cared if Mia did earn "just the green," but the point is that we should all be rewarded accordingly for our efforts. Mia would never have known that she didn't receive the honors that she should have received. A ribbon is a ribbon in our house. But when a person gives something their best, they should be rewarded for it. And not some slapped together, half-excused "gimme," but an honest-to-goodness real validation of achievement. In a world where vacuous celebrities seem to have it all, hard work should be valued. We should be able to earn our honors. And celebrate life's victories! Especially when you're competing against 5-year olds.

After the meet, Mia and I went to TCBY and relished in her achievment. Red ribbons and sprinkles on cotton candy frozen yogurt. Victory!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Mr. Bruns

So I just found out that one of my English teachers from high school is on Facebook. Not just any English teacher...Mr. Bruns, the toughest English teacher of any public high school in Illinois, maybe the entire Midwest. Mr. Bruns would require us to diagram every sentence in every paper that we would submit for his class. Every single sentence. (And yes, I know that that was not a complete sentence. I fracture sentences in this blog for emphasis, not grammatical correctness.) And I can't remember exactly, but I want to say that he would fail us if we misspelled two words. I think he gave us one as a "gimme."

Tough guy. But I think that twenty years later, we could use some more tough guys. Not that I don't think my children have fantastic teachers, they do. But there was something so severe, so scarring about making a mistake in Mr. Bruns' class, that you just did not want to mess up. You would want so badly to impress him, to show him that you were not an idiot. There were a bunch of us "smarties" in his class. We tended to be at the top of our classes and were able to coast in a lot of the classes we had in high school. When you're considered academically advanced, a lot of teachers don't really mess with you. They give you the curriculum and are pleased as punch that you follow it. Mr. Bruns challenged us.

I don't think that I have ever tried so hard to impress a teacher before Mr. Bruns and certainly not after. College professors, after having Mr. Bruns for English in high school, were like a bunch of pot-smoking, corduroy-jacket wearing, wimpy feel-gooders who were looking for content and emotion instead of good ol' fashioned grammar. The only thing I learned from those teachers was the Art of B.S. (which I am sure you have realized by now, I am pretty darn good at....or is it "at which now, you realize that I am pretty darn good.")

In any case, the whole point to this little blog is to encourage all of us to do our best for our own "Mr. Bruns-es." (Again, not sure if I've got that one right.) We should try to do the very best we can do. Everyone can do mediocrity. Everyone can get by and get people to like them and laugh at their silly jokes. (Run-on sentence...I know! Again, for emphasis.) But not everyone can get an "A" with Mr. Bruns.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Big Ten?

So the news broke yesterday, the University of Nebraska will be joining the Big Ten athletic conference. It is with mixed emotions that I receive this news, for I am a graduate of the University of Illinois, also in the Big 10.

I have lived here in Nebraska for almost 10 years. I gave birth to my children here. I worked extensively in the community here. I bought a house here. I wear red every Saturday and most Fridays. I crave Runza's weekly. I can differentiate the smell of a Fairbury hotdog sizzling on the grill from a run-of-the-mill dog. I even think that Herbie Husker is pretty hot. (Sorry Lil' Red. You are a great mascot, but you don't have the muscles. Or the chin.) I know Bo. I have watched every Husker game on tv. (No, I don't listen on the radio. Sports on the radio are stupid. You have to watch. People WATCH sports and then LISTEN to people talk about it later. It's okay.) I love the Big Red.

But I bleed orange and blue. I spent the formative years of my life in Champaign, Illinois. And by formative years, I mean the years where I learned how to be me. I fell in love in Champaign. I fell out of love in Champaign. I figured out what I was feeling "wasn't really love anyway" in Champaign. I met some of my best friends in Champaign. (And thank you Facebook for bringing them back.) I learned some hard lessons in Champaign. I partied, I rocked, and I learned a heck of a lot in Champaign. But I did not watch football.

I do think I went to a couple of games. I know I didn't pay attention. I was more of a tailgater. At the radio station I worked at down there, we had one heck of a tailgating operation. Big huge tent. Killer tunes. Brats. And Leinenkugle beer. Mmmmmm....Leinies. As part of the promotions team, it was our job to set up the tent and run it for all of our listeners. And I always wound up being part of the clean-up team. The duties for that included sitting around and talking rock music, and making sure that that Leinenkugle keg was lighter for the guy taking it back to the distributor. I am such a giver.

Champaign was where I fell in love with radio. The music and the excitement and the creativity. We had a room at the back of the radio station called "Studio D." It had smelly faux leather couches and obnoxious shag green carpeting. Sometimes people would study there. Sometimes people would crash there. The best ideas in the world came out of that little room. Not that any of us can remember those fabulous ideas. You just have to trust us.

That was then. This is now. I moved to Lincoln almost 10 years ago. I am a mom now. I drive a mini-van. One of my main responsiblities to to feed, clothe and discipline three adorable monsters. I pay taxes. I go out once a month instead of 5 nights a week. I carry a purse. (Big no-no in college. If you wore a purse at U of I, you were a major prissy dork.) I don't eat ramen. I drink wine. And I watch football. Big Red football.

I wonder if there's some kind of cosmic twist to all of this. The end of my radio career coinciding with the Cornhuskers joining the Big Ten. The death of one phase of my life, but yet the spark of my past is kindling. UNL will host the Illini. I will have college friends come to visit me and relive the old days. Illinois will host the Big Red. Chris and I can roadtrip to Champaign and visit all of my old haunting grounds. (I wonder if Willie's is still there?) Death and rebirth. Or something like that. I am sure I am overthinking this whole thing, but then again, I am not in Studio D.

I do know this...I bet a Fairbury hotdog would taste fantastic with a Leinie's.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Endings and Dirt Digging

Spencer has been crying for the last half hour. I've sat and snuggled with him, but he can't be consoled. Today was the last day of school and he is very, very sad. His first kindergarten teacher Mrs. Bauer had to leave midway through the year, and now his most recent kindergarten teacher Miss Hendersen is changing schools and won't be around next year.

It is his first ending. Or at least his first awareness of an ending. Last year he wasn't quite in-tune with the ending of pre-school. But this time he knows that he will probably never see Miss Hendersen again. When you are in kindergarten, there is no Facebook.

He's also upset that he won't be seeing any of his friends over the summer either. Of course that is not true. He is playing t-ball. He sees some of his friends at the neighborhood pool. And then he will see all of them next year. He is just feeling a little sensitive right now. Kindergarten is over.

Endings are hard. New chapters are hard. When you don't know what the future holds, the present can be hard to enjoy. How can I enjoy myself now when I need to be worried about what is on the horizon? Things won't be the same and I don't like that. What if things are worse?

Miss Hendersen was thinking though. She had the kids make memory books and she even made a cute little movie with pictures of the kids doing fun kindergarten-y things: painting, exploring, learning the alphabet, digging in the dirt. A good idea for all of us, especially when we don't know when those endings are going to come. Sometimes endings can take us by surprise. It's a good idea to keep a memory book. Or make a little movie. Or write a blog. Something to remind us that when we do reach that next chapter, when things are even better than they were, we had a great time in kindergarten.

Friday, May 21, 2010

The Sleep Fairy Update

An update:

While The Sleep Fairy has not confirmed her identity, The Early Morning Quarter Bandit has asked to be her assistant. He was asking the other night exactly how she does it. "Does she lift my head up first and then the pillow?" "Does she do it all at the same time?" "Does she just slide the treat under?"

Then last night he really thought he outsmarted her. He slept with no pillow. All of his pillows were on the floor.

And this morning he awoke with his head on his pillow and 3 pennies underneath. It's a Sleep Fairy miracle!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Mooning The Sleep Fairy

Okay, so today I have two stories to tell you about and instead of writing two blogs, I am going to tell both in this one and see if I can wrap up the two with some witty tie-in.

Our kids have been super naughty lately. I mean really naughty. "Yelling, screaming, temper-tantruming, getting banned from organizational sports" naughty. I don't know if its too many video games, too much sugar or not enough sleep. They have been the worst at bedtime. Up for 2-3 hours after I put them to bed. So, after doing some research and consulting with their doctor, I decided to call The Sleep Fairy.

The Sleep Fairy will only come if you are perfectly well-behaved at bedtime. You have to put on your pajamas when you are told. The first time, not 5 or 6 times with your mom having to scream at you to "put your jammies on NOW"! You have to brush your teeth when you are told. Again, the first time. You have to do all of this without punching your brother or sister. You can't call them stupid or idiots or butts. You have to sit quietly for book time. You have to lay quietly in your bed, without getting out to steal cereal to snack on in the middle of the night. You cannot complain to your mother that you didn't have any fun today and "why don't we have cable?" and "can we have the hallway light on?" If you can accomplish these things, again without punching your brother and sister (I know. That is the hard part.), The Sleep Fairy will leave you something special under your pillow.

The first night goes great. All three kids sound asleep 15 minutes after being put to bed. Grant my oldest is an early riser. He's the first one up and is so excited that he got a quarter from The Sleep Fairy. Mia wakes up. There is no quarter under her pillow. Spencer wakes up. There is no quarter under her pillow. The Sleep Fairy is sure that she left a quarter under each of their pillows, but there is no money to be found. I have to give each of the kids a quarter from my purse, because I assure them that The Sleep Fairy did give them a quarter, and she thinks the The Early Morning Quarter Bandit must have taken them.

The same thing happened the next night. All three kids were fantastic and went to bed without a problem. Grant found a quarter under his pillow. Spencer and Mia found nothing. Looks like The Early Morning Quarter Bandit struck again. Grant tells me he thinks he knows the identity of The Sleep Fairy. The Sleep Fairy tells him that she knows the identity of The Early Morning Quarter Bandit.

So basically, I've traded one misbehavior for another. I've turned a sleep-deprived, rambunctious child to a thieving, manipulative, well-rested child. I suppose that is progress.

Now here's the other story. The kindergarteners at Spencer's school must really be into butts right now. Using the word "butt." Spanking each other. Some kid even got into trouble for kissing someone's backside. (Adults hear the phrase "kissing someone's butt" and it means something completely different. Kids are pretty literal.).

So Miss Henderson (her first semester teaching-God bless her) decided to teach the kids that "butt" is just another body part like any other, that "butt" isn't any funnier than "elbow," "knee" or "leg." Spencer says to Miss Henderson, "But "butts" are a private part, and private parts are funny." So true child. However, butts are the funniest private part.

Butts are always funny. Always. Its a basic rule of comedy. If you want a laugh, go with a butt joke or a fart joke and you will always score. Sometimes comedians will use other parts and can get a laugh, but sometimes even those jokes can go to far. Other private parts can be funny, but sometimes they can just be gross or just make people uncomfortable. Butts are always funny.

Plumber cracks. Mooning. Falling on it. Depants-ing. Wedgies. Whoopie cushions (butts + farts = comedy gold!!!). They even call it being the "butt of someone's joke." I am sorry, Miss Henderson. Butts are funny.

So remember, when you are getting ready for bed tonight, brush your teeth, get your jammies on, and instead of punching your brother or sister, tell them a good butt joke. And you may, just may get a quarter from The Sleep Fairy. Unless The Early Morning Quarter Bandit gets there first.

(I told you I'd try to tie them together. And if somebody doesn't like it, I suppose you know what they can kiss.)

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Dice and Dips

This is how we roll.......

I got invited to something pretty cool Friday night. My friend Keri (subject of earlier blog "New Friends") is doing a 3-Day Walk for the Cure for Susan G. Komen and put together a Bunco for Boobs fundraiser. She just got done with her chemotherapy and is looking fantastic! Her hair is growing back. Her color has come back to her cheeks, and I have to applaud her for taking on such an unbelievable challenge.

She has spent the last half of a year with her body being beaten down by a disease that is supposed to be a killer. The treatment for that disease can leave the body weakened and sore and whithered. It can leave the spirit the same. But Keri has decided that she is in charge of her body. She decides what her body is going to be doing, what her body can handle, not some stupid disease or the treatment to stop her stupid disease. Cancer may have slowed her down temporarily, but she is the one in control. She has signed-up to walk for 3-days, 60 miles to help raise money to find a cure for the disease that knocked her down. She is training now. Just this weekend she walked a total of 16 miles in training. Her strength and sheer tenacity inspire me.

To raise money for her walk, she organized this Bunco for Boobs night. 20 women attended and we raised $200. Bunco is a dice game that women have been playing since the turn of the century. The last century. There is absolutely no skill involved whatsoever. You roll 3 dice and try to roll the target number. If you do, you keep going, if you don't, play goes to the next player. The women sit at tables in groups of four. I only knew 2 people at this party, so I was excited to get to know 17 other fantastic women. After each round, if you win, you move to a different table. Unless, you are at the head table, in which case, if you lose, you go to the "Bounce" Table.

My friend Lana brought the "Bounce" table. This was a rickety old avacado green card table that someone in her family must have gotten in the late/mid 60's to play their bridge or pitch games on. I could only imagine how many ash trays were full of butts, how many cups of coffee were drank, how many cocktail weenies and sweedish meatballs were eaten around this table. Friday night, by the rules that we were playing by (which by the way in Bunco, I have a feeling that a lot of the rules are kind of made up), if you rolled the dice and didn't roll one of the "target" numbers, you got to pound the table with your fist in order to make the dice jump and "re-roll" themselves. Kind of like a do-over. I loved the "Bounce" table.

In Bunco, when you get 3-of-a-kind it is called a "Binky." (At least that is what this group called it. It could be called something different where you come from.) The winner of the "Binky" gets the honor of holding a special "trophy," and at the end of the night the person holding this special "trophy" wins a prize. Our "trophy" was a pair of furry stuffed breasts strung together by a string. Kind of like fuzzy dice, but with boobs. Now for a run-of-the-mill guys Texas Hold 'Em night, that might sound kind of tacky but this was a fundraiser for breast cancer research after all. When someone would roll 3-of-a-kind, they would yell out, "Binky!" and someone would throw the furry "boobs-on-a-string" their way. Can you imagine the fun of 20 women, rolling dice, drinking cocktails, eating unbelievable dips and hurling a pair of fuzzy boobs through the air?

Oh, and the dips. One of my favorite things about being a woman (that most men I'm sure don't think of) is that women get together they like to out-dip each other. Not in a cut-throat, witchy Desperate Housewives way, but we do like to impress each other with our dips. You don't hear of men who get invited to those poker parties bragging and complimenting each other on their dips. "Ooooh, Larry, what is in this 7-layer bean dip?" But I tell you what, bring 20 women together and there is some gooooood eatin'. There was an unbeliveable jalepeno popper dip, a delicious spinach dip and a really yummy queso. I think that Bunco is just as much about the dips as it is about the dice.

I had a great night. I made a lot of great friends. Had the "Binky" thrown to me a few times. But what I really loved was how I felt connected to womanhood in general. Decades and decades of women have been getting together to play this silly little game. To drink, to socialize and to forget about their diets for the night. To not have to worry about the stresses of their jobs, to not have to worry about the challenges of their children, to not have to worry about the struggles in their marriages or lack there of. Bunco night is just a night to be with the girls. To laugh and eat and drink and throw boobs at each other. And maybe, just maybe, make a little difference in the world. Good luck Keri! I'm cheering you on!